


Nothing Ever Goes As Planned

by LemonNinjaa



Category: Shugo Chara!
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe, Angst, Cutting, F/M, Growing Up, Mind Control, Multi, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 15:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2156040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonNinjaa/pseuds/LemonNinjaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amu has been alone ever since Ikuto left; all of the Guardians are in relationships except her. After 3 years, Ikuto comes back, but his return, thanks to a new enemy, doesn't turn out the way she thought it would. Then again, nothing ever goes as planned. Trigger warning for this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was started in 2010, and finished in early 2014. I haven't changed much except for formatting, to maintain posterity.

"Amu-chan!" Ran's energetic voice called up the stairs.

Ran, Miki, Su, and Dia all heard a thump, and it was decided that Su would go see what happened.

She floated upstairs, and stopped in front of a closed white door with a black heart on it. This was Amu's room. Her little sister, Ami, had a pink heart on her own bedroom door.

"Amu-chan, are you okay, desu?" Su asked, with her customary ending "-desu" at the end of her sentence.

A groan was heard from behind the door.

"I stubbed my toe on the dresser," Amu's faint voice cried.

Su giggled and flew back downstairs, where she was making yet another dessert. Strawberry shortcake, Amu's favourite.

Miki looked up from her drawing.

"What happened, Su?" She asked.

"Amu-chan stubbed her toe on the dresser again, desu," Su replied cheerfully.

Miki shook her head while Ran jumped around as per usual.

Dia sat on a countertop, humming quietly to herself. After Ikuto left, Dia felt Amu's radiance dim a bit, so she decided to come out of her gold and black diamond egg, at least until Amu regained her lost sparkle.

All of the Charas heard footsteps, which meant Amu had recovered from her ordeal with the dresser and was on her way downstairs.

Amu appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing red skinny jeans and a black hoodie with cat ears on the hood. Underneath her hoodie she wore a white t-shirt with a black and silver panther on the front. Her socks were purple-and-black-striped, and she had put on a layered chain necklace. Amu's hair was left down but held out of the way with a black headband, exposing her dangly black star earrings.

"Ohayo Amu-chan!" all of her Charas chorused, with Su adding "-desu" at the end.

"Ohayo minna!" she replied in kind, smiling at them. "I'm going to go to the park, okay?"

"Will you be fine by yourself, desu?" Su asked worriedly.

"Yeah, it's okay. I'll be back in like an hour or so," Amu reassured Su, who was in her motherly-mode.

"Are you sure, Amu-chan, desu?" She asked again to make sure.

"Yes, Su," Amu smiled exasperatedly.

"Alright, Amu-chan, if you say so," Miki said dubiously. She had a feeling Amu wasn't all that happy, but figured that she would work things out on her own. After Ikuto, and thus Yoru, left, Miki had felt the same as Amu, because of Yoru. It was only fitting that the Charas of two people in love would also fall in love, especially since Charas were the would-be selves of the owner. It was just a matter of which one of Amu's Charas would fall for Yoru, and it happened to be Miki.

Amu put her black heeled boots on and left, leaving her Charas in the kitchen.

As she started walking, she pulled her black iPod out of her pocket and started listening to music. She started thinking about how Rima and Nagihiko were together, as were Utau and Kukai, and Yaya and Kairi. They were all in middle school now, with Kukai. Even Tadase, her former crush, was in a relationship now.

It was always Amu who was alone, ever since Ikuto left. She never felt the same without him; his teasing, his deep, husky voice whispering her name into her ear… She absolutely loved the way her name sounded when he said it.

She saw a flash of green in her peripheral vision, and looked up, surprised. It had only seemed like 2 minutes, but she was already at the park, which took 10 minutes to walk to from her house. Walking a little more, she found the place where she first heard and saw Ikuto playing his violin. Walking up the steps, she sat down on a nearby bench, looking at all the people passing by.

It seemed to Amu that there were so many couples, people who looked so happy together and wouldn't trade their lives for anything. The sight only made her more depressed than she already was; she wouldn't admit it to anyone but herself, but Ikuto's absence really affected her. Soon after he left on the plane, she realized that he was the only one who really saw through her "cool and spiciness", to see the hurt and lost girl inside. It tore at her heart to know that she wasn't sure if she would ever see him again, even though he promised he'd come back. After all, it had already been 3 years.

Amu felt something hit her cheek. She looked up and saw gray clouds amassed in the sky.

"Shit!" she whispered to herself, and got up. Pulling up her hood, she started running back home, as fast as she could while wearing heeled boots.

When she opened her front door, she was greeted by silence and the faint smell of sugar. She assumed Su had finished baking a little while ago, and they were probably sleeping in their eggs, judging by the lack of noise.

Slipping off her boots, she padded up the stairs, and opened her bedroom door. Her thoughts from earlier in the park just served to worsen her mood. She decided to take a shower, since warm water would hopefully relax her.

Amu walked into her bathroom and stripped off her clothes. As she made her way to the shower, her eyes caught metal glinting in the fluorescent light. She picked up the metallic object and stepped into the shower. Turning on the water, she closed her eyes as she felt the water bombard her body. It was a wonderful feeling that she had come to associate with an even better sensation. Opening her hand, she looked down at the object she had picked up earlier. It was a small razor blade, and it represented her relief, her salvation, her relaxation. This was how Amu let go of all her pent-up emotions and thoughts.

She never made more than 3 cuts at a time, and made them small and unassuming. This way, no one would really notice and they would heal faster.

Amu lined up the blade to make the first cut. Metal skated across wet flesh, and beads of blood welled up. She quickly moved her wrist through the warm water; fast enough so the blood would wash away, but not slowly enough that copious amounts of water would enter her cut and make it sting more.

Aligning the razor in a different place this time, she repeated the same gesture. More of her negative feelings were washed away with the blood. Sighing, she savoured the moment. After the next cut, she wouldn't be able to do this again until these new ones healed…

She was about to make the last stroke with the razor when she heard a bang coming from her room. Fearing the worst (she _was_ home alone with just her sleeping Charas, after all, and Charas, sleeping or otherwise, are no help if there are burglars or other criminals afoot), she quickly turned off the water, dried off, and got dressed as fast as possible. In her panic, she didn't think about bandaging her cuts when she yanked on a black tank top with a red skull on it. She pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, and advanced towards the bathroom door slowly. She opened it a crack, and peered around her room, ready to slam it shut again in a second. Her eyes fell on a figure lying on her bed. A figure with midnight blue hair…

Amu gasped. She couldn't help herself. After 3 years, the man who stole her heart was in her room again. Suddenly, her surprise turned to anger. _Just what the fuck possessed him for him to think it was okay to just drop by suddenly after 3 fucking years and pretend everything was normal? How dare he!_

His head had whipped around at the sound of her intake of breath, and therefore saw when her golden eyes changed from a light gold to a dark honeyed amber colour. He knew she was pissed, and he was in for it.

She flung open the bathroom door in her rage, and stomped over to the feline man who was now sitting up on her bed. Amu started yelling at him.

"You fucker! How dare you leave me for 3 years without a fucking _word_ to say you were alive and that you were okay! You couldn't even text me just to say hi or anything?"

Evidently Amu was livid, with reason, too.

"I can't believe you sometimes!" Caught up in her rant, she got closer and slapped Ikuto's cheek. His head snapped to one side, but not before he caught a glimpse of red on her wrist.

Ignoring her rant and grabbing her arm, much to her surprise and ire, he examined it more closely.

"You're bleeding," were the first words out of his mouth aimed toward Amu for the first time in 3 years.

Amu's eyes widened while Ikuto was still examining her cuts.

 _Oh fuck,_ she thought.

She snatched her wrist away and turned around, huffing.

"What the hell do you care, I just cut myself by accident this morning and it re-opened while I was taking a shower."

"What did you cut yourself on?" Ikuto wanted to know.

 _Shit, he must be on to me,_ Amu frantically thought. _How the fuck am I going to explain away this one? I mean sure, my parents were gullible enough to believe it when they noticed my cuts last month, but Ikuto is perceptive!_

He looked up at her while she was panicking in her mind. With one look in her eyes, he immediately knew what had happened.

"Amu," he said, getting her attention. She looked into his glittering pools of navy blue, and had to catch her breath.

"You cut, don't you," his next words ungracefully disrupted her admirations, and brought her mind back to the situation at hand.

"Alright fine, you got that much out of me. Now what do you want?" Amu had changed a little bit while Ikuto was gone. A small part of her "cool and spicy" façade integrated into her real personality, making her a little sarcastic and better at lying. She also gained some of the attitude her façade was so infamous for.

"Why?" His next question surprised her, and instantly brought back the anger.

"You ask me why, when it was fucking all for _you_?" Amu demanded. "Do you realize just how much you fucked my life up?"

She knew he was taken aback from the look in his eyes, but he quickly masked it.

"And what do you mean by that?" He seemed to be a little irritated now.

"HOLY FUCK! How oblivious can you be?" Amu screamed. "You fucking broke my heart when you left, and then you didn't even text me or anything to say you were fucking alive, and now you come waltzing back after 3 fucking years and expect everything to be sunshine and daisies? What the fuck have you been smoking?"

She was aware of how similar that rant was to her previous one, but evidently Ikuto didn't quite catch her point last time, so she felt it appropriate to reiterate everything she had said just before he noticed her cuts.

His eyes darkened.

"Did you think it didn't hurt me at all to leave you too? You weren't the only one I had to leave behind. I had to leave my own sister, not just you. Even all the friends I had at school. You're so selfish sometimes, _little girl_ ," he ended mockingly.

"Get out," she said quietly, her eyes closed.

Amu turned away from him, and when she didn't hear any noise indicating his departure, she said it again, this time louder.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" She yelled.

She heard her balcony door open and close, but waited a few minutes just to make sure he was far away. Tears filled her eyes, and she flung herself face down on her bed.

 _This wasn't how it was supposed to go,_ Amu thought, sobbing.

Miki peeked out of her egg, having been awake since Amu first started yelling. Ran and Su were still asleep, while Dia lay awake quietly in her egg, as she was up as soon as she felt more of Amu's radiance drain away.

Amu wasn't the only one who felt sad. Miki didn't even get the chance to see Yoru, because he didn't come in with Ikuto.

After a while, Amu fell asleep, worn out from her emotionally exhausting day. Dia eventually dozed off as well, but Miki couldn't sleep, not after seeing Amu's anguish so similar to her own.

Drifting out of her egg, she sat just in front of it, and started sketching. It was a picture of Amu and Ikuto together, but happy. They were the perfect couple, but even they had their disagreements. The drawing took about 10 minutes, and seeing nothing else to do, Miki decided to go back inside her egg, and emulate her owner and sisters. All five of them slept, unaware of what was about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ohayo: good morning  
> Minna(-san): everyone


	2. Chapter 2

Amu woke up at around 10am the next morning, with her Charas already downstairs, presumably making breakfast. (Or rather, Su was making breakfast while Ran, Miki and Dia sat around and watched or did something else.) Her parents and Ami were gone again, for a week this time, leaving Amu home alone like they always did.

She checked her cuts, and saw that they had scabbed overnight. That was good. Now she didn't have to disinfect and bandage them. Throwing back her covers, she made to get up and look for clothes, but a flash of black against her pink sheets caught her attention. Looking down, she found a black egg with a thick red horizontal stripe. Inside the stripe were black crosses, going all the way around the egg. Now somewhat used to the random appearance of eggs (she had Ran, Miki, Su, and Dia all appear randomly, after all), she put it on her dresser and finally got up and walked into her closet.

Amu came out with a white t-shirt adorned with a bleeding, black heart, and red-and-black-checkered skinny jeans. Looking around her room, she found her black elbow-length fingerless gloves. She tied a red ribbon around her left wrist over top of the glove for a splash of colour, and put red X-shaped studs in her ears. Today, she left her hair alone, and just combed it straight. For added style, she tied a red ribbon choker around her neck, and put on a black leather belt with hanging chains attached.

When Amu arrived in the kitchen, she saw a familiar sight. Su cooking while Dia was humming, Miki was drawing, and Ran was jumping around like the cheerleader she is. Sitting down at the table, she ate tamagoyaki (Japanese egg omelette), rice with seasoned nori (seaweed), and miso soup. Amu wasn't much of a breakfast person, and Su knew that, so she had only prepared a small meal.

After she had finished, she decided to break the news to her Charas.

"Guys, I found another Chara egg today," she said.

"What does the shell look like?" asked Miki.

"It's black with a red stripe, and black crosses," Amu answered. "Let's go upstairs, I'll show you."

They all went upstairs to Amu's bedroom, and saw the egg sitting on the dresser where she left it.

Su flew up to it.

"The markings are much different than all of ours, desu!" Su exclaimed.

"That's probably because it's a completely different kind of would-be self," Dia said wisely.

"I wonder what kind, then," Amu mused.

"I wonder when it'll hatch!" Ran said excitedly.

"Well, it only took a few days for you, Miki, and Su to hatch, so maybe it'll only take a few days for this one," Amu guessed.

Dia kept quiet. She had a feeling this Chara would prove to be quite different from the rest of them.

"So what are you going to do today, Amu-chan?" asked Ran.

"The Guardians wanted to meet up, since we haven't done that in a while," Amu said.

"Oh, where are you going, desu?" asked Su.

"We're meeting up at the park first and then heading to the mall," the 16-year-old replied.

"When are you supposed to be there?" inquired Miki.

"At 11:30 – Oh my God I'm going to be late!" Amu cried.

Ran giggled behind her light pink pom-poms while Amu scrambled around her room trying to find her purse. It was already 11:15am, and it did take about 10 minutes to walk to the park.

Amu managed to find a black leather bag with a shoulder strap, decorated with metal studs. Inside it she put her wallet, her phone, and the new Chara egg wrapped protectively in a handkerchief. She yanked on a random pair of socks and raced down the stairs, her Charas floating behind her. Amu got to the front door and quickly laced up her black high-top Converse, and ran out the door, of course locking it.

She managed to reach the park in 5 minutes, and saw Rima, Nagihiko, Tadase, and Kairi already there. They all had their Charas with them, too. Of course, seeing Rima and Nagihiko holding hands just made Amu sadder inside, but she hid it well, seeing as she was fast approaching her friends. Unbeknownst to her, the egg in her bag twitched.

"Ohayo minna!" she yelled once she was within earshot. "Sorry I'm late!"

She stopped just in front of them, panting a little bit.

"Ohayo, Amu-chan," Tadase smiled irresistibly at her, his pale ruby eyes glittering softly.

She made a fake smile in his direction; everyone thought she still liked Tadase, and she saw no reason to disrupt that illusion. They wouldn't understand if they knew Amu was in love with Ikuto, the "black cat of misfortune".

"So we are just waiting for Yaya-chan and Kukai-senpai," Kairi said in his formal way, pushing his glasses up.

"Ah, there's Souma-san," Tadase said in his soft voice, using Kukai's last name.

Kukai was running, as usual, as he was very athletic.

"Now there's just Yaya-chan to wait for," Nagihiko smiled gently.

"WAIT FOR YAYA!" a high, girlish voice, was heard yelling.

The Guardians all turned around and saw a head of bouncing auburn curls tied up in pigtails with red ribbons. It was Yaya, finally arriving with her Chara, Pepe.

Amu smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. She was, after all, just putting on a show for the Guardians. She wasn't actually happy, nor was she pleased to see them, particularly in their respective couples. As soon as Yaya had gotten within considerable distance, she launched herself at Kairi in a massive tackle-hug. When the youngest Guardian regained his balance, they stood close to each other, holding hands. Tadase's girlfriend was not part of the Guardians, and thus was not there, but it didn't seem to affect the ruby-eyed King too much.

The black and red Chara egg in Amu's bag briefly rocked from side to side, gentle enough that Amu couldn't feel it.

"Shall we go?" Amu suggested, still smiling.

So off the Guardians went to the mall, all of them giggling and talking.

It was a shame none of them, not even Nagihiko, was aware of how much Amu was hurting inside. She yearned to have the same kind of relationship the rest of the Guardians had, not just with their significant other, but with every single one in the group. Amu had felt detached from them ever since Ikuto's departure. Nagihiko, formerly Nadeshiko, used to be so aware of how Amu was secretly feeling, but ever since the pinkette's "cool and spiciness" integrated with her real self, it became much harder to distinguish.

And thus, Amu suffered alone, behind her painted-on mask.

The black and red egg cracked a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ohayo: good morning  
> minna(-san): everyone


	3. Chapter 3

The Guardians had been at the mall for about an hour already, just drifting to random shops together. They were in the food court now, as it was around 1pm.

 _Of course, I would be left to sit on the end as Tadase sits on the opposite side, with couples on both sides of me. I feel so fucking surrounded,_ Amu thought, irritated and a little sad.

"So guys, what should we do now?" Yaya chirped.

"There is something I want to show you, Yaya-chan, in one of the stores," Kairi said, glancing at her lovingly.

"Oh! Yaya wants to see!" The babyish Guardian cried.

Grabbing Kairi's hand, Yaya leapt up and sped away.

"Perhaps we should all split up for a while, then," Nagihiko suggested.

Amu looked up.

"Actually guys, I have to go now. I have to… go grocery shopping," she quickly made up an excuse to leave.

"Do you want my help, Amu-chan?" Tadase looked into her eyes and smiled.

"No, it's okay," she replied, giving another fake smile.

"Alright, then we'll see you later," Nagihiko bid farewell to Amu, getting up with Rima. Rima waved at her best friend, as she was not one for many words.

Waving while running off, Amu's expression slowly smoothed out into a neutral mask as she disappeared out of eyeshot.

She slowed down when she rounded the corner, a block away from the mall.

 _So much for friends, huh,_ she thought sardonically. _They didn't even notice how I was feeling._

Another crack formed in her new Chara egg.

Amu started walking to the park, the place she always went to when she felt down. Her Charas floated away to give her some time alone, so she pulled out her iPod. She always brought it with her in case of situations like this. She played it quietly, the beat accenting her thoughts.

_Why the fuck can't I find someone I belong with, besides Ikuto? Why is it that I can only really be myself around him of all people? He teases me and just sees me as some pathetic little girl, when the truth is he's stolen my heart and taken the rest of me with it…_

A red-tinted black glow emanated from Amu's bag, and she looked at it, surprised. She then remembered she had her new Chara egg in there, but why was it glowing? Ran, Su, Miki and Dia didn't glow when they hatched.

The egg floated out her bag, and opened with red sparks. Out of it popped a Chara with long black and red streaked hair, and two different-coloured eyes: black and red. Two black wolf ears twitched on top of her head, and she had a matching black wolf tail as well. The Chara had black angel wings, and was wearing a black and red dress. It was long-sleeved with a ruffled edge on both the sleeves and the hem. The neckline was covered with a Victorian-style, black ruffled kerchief, and in the centre of the kerchief was a silver brooch with a ruby. The skirt was composed of four different layers of ruffles. The top two layers were black, while the bottom two were crimson. She wore little black shoes to complete the look.

Her dark red lips curved into a half-smile, and she spoke quite formally.

"Hello, Amu-chan, my name is Cross. I was born out of your depression as well as your yearning love for Ikuto. I represent the part of you that wants to be able to be happy even when you're alone, and be able to speak your feelings clearly. I have wolf ears and a tail to represent being alone."

Amu stared at Cross. The little Guardian was adorable, yet so sophisticated-looking.

"Okay…" was all she could manage.

"I now take it upon myself to get you to confess your feelings to Ikuto… Without me Chara-changing with you," Cross said abruptly.

Again, Amu could do nothing but stare at her newest Chara, wondering just how she ended up with one like Cross.

Suddenly Cross looked around, and her eyes hardened.

"Amu-chan, there are a few X-Eggs coming this way! Amu-chan's heart: unlock!" Cross said the phrase to Chara-nari with Amu.

Instead of a pink, blue, green, or yellow background, a black one with red ribbons appeared.

Amu's hair was curled with a black, red ruffle-edge headband. Black feathered wings appeared on her back, and they flapped once. She wore a black corset with red ruffles on the bottom. On the back of the corset, red ribbons criss-crossed, holding the corset tightly to her body. These red ribbons were visible in the front as well. The Humpty Lock was nestled in the centre of a red ribbon tied in a bow, which was in the top middle of her corset. Amu's arms were covered by black fingerless gloves that stopped a little before the elbow. Her skirt was the same as Cross', with the four-layer ruffled design, the top two being black and the bottom two red. Her legs covered in ripped fishnet stockings, and black combat boots that went up to just under Amu's knee. Around her neck there was a black ribbon choker with a silver cross hanging from it. To finish off her image, pink wolf ears and a tail appeared.

"Chara-nari: Amulet Cross!" Amu and Cross said as one.

"Cross Fan!" A black, metal fan with crimson flowers on it appeared in Amu's hand.

The X-Eggs appeared, chanting, "Muri! Muri! Muri!"

 _Amu-chan, the name of the attack is "Demonic Wolf Rising",_ Cross thought to her.

"Demonic Wolf Rising!" Amu raised the fan, then brought it down, to see a black phantasmal wolf paw lash out at the X-Eggs. The X-Eggs were disoriented, and fell to the ground.

Amu formed a heart with her fingers, and centred it with her arms extended, so the heart was aiming from the Humpty Lock.

"Open Heart!" She cried.

Black hearts came from the Humpty Lock and through the outline of the heart she made with her fingers. After a few seconds, the X-Eggs were purified, and let her hands drop with a sigh.

 _That was amazing, Amu-chan!_ Cross said from inside her mind.

"Amu-chi!" Yaya's childish voice called from behind her. "How did you Chara-nari into that?"

Still in her Amulet Cross transformation, she whipped around. All of the Guardians, including Kukai, were there, staring at her in a mixture of surprise and awe. They seemed to have been present to witness her new attack, Demonic Wolf Rising, judging from the amalgamation of emotions on their faces.

 _Aw shit, this is gonna suck,_ Amu thought, wolf ears drooping a little bit, and she felt Cross nod her head in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Chara-nari: Character Transformation  
> Muri: impossible


	4. Chapter 4

"Amu-chan?" Nagihiko's voice interrupted Amu's lamentations.

"I have a fifth Chara named Cross," Amu began, and de-Transformed.

Cross appeared in a shower of red sparks.

"Hello, Guardians, I am Amu-chan's newest Chara," she said, and bowed.

"You're very cute," Nagihiko smiled warmly at Cross.

Blushing a little bit, Cross denied any such thing.

"Your newest Chara-nari is so cool!" Yaya cried. "Yaya wants a cool Chara-nari too!"

Amu sweatdropped at that; it was such a Yaya thing to say.

 _At least I got away with it, right?_ Amu thought to herself.

"But Amu-chan, that means Cross is a would-be self of you," Tadase suddenly said. "So what part of you does Cross represent?"

 _Oh fuck, he_ would _ask exactly what I didn't want to hear,_ Amu thought with irritation. _Just when I thought I got away with it, too. I swear I hate him a little more every day._

"Amu-chan wishes to be able to communicate her feelings more clearly, and she wonders about love." Cross had a feeling that Amu didn't want this blonde boy to know about her true purpose, so she bent the truth a little bit.

Upon hearing Cross' less-than-true answer, she almost sighed with relief but held it in. She knew that if she had let it out, Nagihiko would have noticed for sure.

"Ah, I see," Tadase replied to Cross. Then he said, "You have many would-be selves, Amu-chan."

"Yaya wants more Charas to play with!" Yaya shouted. "Why doesn't Yaya have more Charas?"

"Yaya-chan, you only have one Chara because you only have one would-be self," Nagihiko replied patiently. "Amu-chan has 5 because there are many different things she wishes to be and multiple qualities she desires to possess. You just want to remain the youngest and act like a baby." He said the last part kindly.

Yaya pouted, saying, "Not fair!"

Rima stared almost blankly at Amu with her big, doe-like, golden brown eyes. The small girl never did much but that, yet somehow Amu and Rima remained best friends, after bonding over embarrassing Chara-changes those years ago. Nowadays, though, Rima spent most of her time with Nagihiko instead of Amu, making Amu feel so much more alone. However, upon seeing Rima pay attention to her for once, Amu's heart tugged a little. Best friends are supposed to always spend time together, and know each other inside out. But now, it was just Amu alone. Rima never noticed anything about her anymore.

Cross felt Amu's pain, seeing as how she was born out of Amu's depression and desire to speak her true feelings. Her bi-coloured eyes darkened, and she whispered, "Chara-change."

Amu's red X hair clip changed to a black cross, and her somewhat neutral expression twisted into a malevolent scowl. Pink wolf ears appeared on her head, and a wolf tail materialized, waving back and forth angrily.

"None of you would understand anything about me, seeing as how you all live such perfect lives. But me, I desire change. And some of these changes include you Guardians." Since Amu Chara-changed with Cross, her manner of speaking became more formal, and her voice a little smoother and lower. Her personality was darker, and she didn't care anymore about how she came off to other people. She spoke her true feelings, although with the Chara-change it was slightly more exaggerated. Amu did feel inferior to the rest of the Guardians, and was jealous that they were always so happy, but she didn't want to be rid of them. She just wanted to spend time away from them without them being hurt by her decision.

She turned her back to the Guardians' stunned faces and leapt away using her wolf-like agility, with Cross floating behind her. Like wolves, Amu could run forever, as long as she kept a moderate pace.

Tears escaped her eyes as she ran, finally let out after being held in for so long.

Reaching her home at last, she jumped up and grabbed the bottom of her balcony. She hauled herself up, let herself in through the balcony door, and then collapsed on her bed, sobbing anew as her wolf characteristics disappeared quietly. Ran, Miki, Su and Dia, all of whom had been sleeping, floated out from their eggs upon realizing her sorry state, and the four of them plus Cross settled around her, lending her comfort from their presence. She ended up crying herself to sleep.

However, the balcony door was left upon in the midst of Amu's distress. A shadow fell across the open doorway, and a figure entered soundlessly. Silhouettes of pointed ears and a long tail were visible in the shadow of this person, and navy blue eyes glinted in the darkness.

He walked toward the sleeping girl, but suddenly stopped short. He saw dried tear tracks on her cheeks, indicating the teenager had fallen asleep while crying.

The man's fists clenched briefly, and a grimace permeated by concern marred his fine features. He didn't know why she had been crying, but he sincerely hoped it wasn't because of the argument they had last night. Walking closer, he lightly caressed her cheek, then turned, exited her room, and leapt away over the rooftops after making sure the sliding door closed behind him.

"How am I going to fix this?" he muttered under his breath. "I'm pretty sure she won't be happy to see me again, not after last night…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Chara-nari: Character Transformation  
> Chara-change: Character Change


	5. Chapter 5

Amu was rudely awoken by the ringtone on her cell phone that indicated she received a text. She grabbed blindly for her phone without bothering to look around. Successfully grabbing hold of it, she raised the phone and checked the new message. It was from Nagihiko: _"Dear Amu-chan, would you care to meet me at the park at about 1pm today? I will be there regardless if you show or not, so you do not have to reply to this. I do hope you will come though. – Nagihiko"_. She smiled softly; Nagihiko had always been like that, even when he was masquerading as Nadeshiko.

 _I guess I'll go,_ she thought. _He was my best friend when he was Nadeshiko and now he's like my brother. I owe him an explanation about what the fuck happened… That reminds me…_

"Cross," Amu finished her thought out loud by calling her newest Chara's name.

Since all of her Charas had fallen asleep around her, they weren't in their eggs. Upon hearing Amu's voice, Cross floated closer to Amu, fully awake. Apparently she was an early riser.

"What the fuck did you do last night? Why did I go all fucking evil and shit?" Amu demanded. She was pretty upset; after all, Cross may have possibly just caused Amu to completely lose the Guardians forever.

"Well, Amu-chan, I represent most of the dark side of your personality, which includes your pent-up rage and all of those other negative feelings. Since it was our first Chara-change, all of your anger was channelled into it, and thus you reacted like you did last night," she said somewhat calmly.

"Why the fuck do you sound so calm about it?" Amu screamed. "You probably just fucked up the relationship between me and the Guardians!"

"Well Amu-chan, if they couldn't determine your true feelings, then how are they considered real friends?" Cross persisted.

Amu fell silent at that. She had always wished that people would notice that she wasn't really "cool and spicy", and that she was just trying to find acceptance in a world where people didn't give it that easily.

 _How come they never noticed? Am I just that… good at lying? Or maybe they really don't care…_ Amu thought.

"Well, in any case, I at least should go see Nagihiko. I mean, he was my first friend when he was Nadeshiko," Amu abruptly said.

"Whatever you want, Amu-chan," Cross replied, not willing to further upset her owner. She knew that the Guardians may not be the best people out there, but they did have good intentions, mostly.

Standing up from her bed, she picked out an outfit. Amu kept it simple, with black skinny jeans with a blood-splattered design, a black tank top embroidered with rhinestones, and a red and black striped hoodie left unzipped. She pushed the sleeves of the hoodie up to just under her elbow, and put on a black-chained necklace with a winged heart. A black-and-white-checkered belt contrasted with the dark tones of her jeans, and she slid a chunky black bangle on her left wrist. She placed a simple silver ring and a black rose ring on her right middle finger.

Walking over to her mirror, she quickly brushed her hair, and kept it out of her face with a red barrette on each side. Amu put in dangling red cross earrings that were studded with black rhinestones.

As she walked down the stairs, her Charas floated behind her slowly, not sure what was going on (they didn't see the text from Nagihiko, after all).

"Amu-chan, what's going on?" Miki asked tentatively, afraid she would upset her owner again.

"I'm going to meet Nagihiko at the park," she simply stated.

Miki looked at Dia, stunned. She didn't expect Amu would go so soon to see them after her little blow-up at them yesterday.

Dia shrugged, and smiled sweetly. Inside she knew Amu's radiance wasn't any closer to being renewed (in fact, it seemed duller than ever), but she had to believe in Cross. After all, the five of them were sisters, in a different sense of the word.

In the kitchen, Amu made some quick toast, and decided to eat it as she walked to the park. Only Cross and Dia decided to follow her; Ran, Miki, and Su just decided to stay home.

As Amu strolled to the park, her thoughts were whirling inside her head. What would happen at the park? Would Nagihiko forgive her for her outburst yesterday? What if all of the Guardians decided she shouldn't be the Joker anymore, and that they could do just fine without her, even if they couldn't purify the X-Eggs? She got more and more stressed as she went on her way.

"Amu-chan, relax," Dia said in her sweet voice. "What happens will happen, alright? Just believe in yourself."

Finishing her toast, Amu took a deep breath as she walked, trying to stay calm. _Just keep cool, I mean it's not like nothing much could happen, right? Nagihiko wouldn't be rude or anything, he's never been mean._

She turned onto the path that led deeper into the park, nearer to the place where the Guardians always met if they chose the park as the rendezvous point.

As she walked through the forested part, she caught a flash of pale yellow in the corner of her eye. She turned, expecting it to be some sort of bird or something. Instead, she was treated to the sight of Tadase and his girlfriend making out.

 _Oh my God, just what I wanted to see, the pretty boy making out with his oh-so-perfect girlfriend,_ she thought in disgust, turning away before her mind was scarred any more than it already was.

Unbidden, tears rose in her eyes, but she fought them down as she suddenly bolted, trying to escape the unexpected emotion. It was enough seeing Tadase sucking face, she didn't want them to see her standing there like a stalker.

 _Why does it hurt so much? I'm over him, aren't I?_ Amu asked herself these questions as she ran. _I have Ikuto, why am I crying over Tadase?_

Glancing at each other helplessly, Cross and Dia quickly followed after their owner.

Realizing she was quickly nearing the place where Nagihiko was supposed to be, she slowed down a little bit, smoothed her hair out, and wiped her eyes. She straightened her clothes, and evened out her erratic breathing. After pulling herself together, she continued on her way, at a much slower pace than before.

Cross and Dia settled on her shoulders to help her relax, and she started walking around the bend to where the Guardians usually met up.

Upon rounding said bend, her eyes were promptly assaulted by the image of Rima lying on top of Nagihiko on a bench, passionately French-kissing.

Whirling away from the horrific sight, her thoughts screamed in her mind. _WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I thought Rima was innocent and Nagihiko a mannerly gentleman, but shit! That was so unexpected!_

After her shock wore off, she became angry. Nagihiko didn't say Rima or even Tadase would be at the park as well. Regardless of the fact that the park was a common place for couples to go, Nagihiko didn't say he'd be with Rima. _I thought it would be just the two of us, like when Nagihiko was Nadeshiko and we spent time alone together…But I can't fucking believe that, I mean I trusted Nagihiko would be alone!_ She thought hysterically.

She ran away, once again, before the couple looked up and saw her standing there with a broken expression. Amu let her legs take her to a secluded part of the forest where she was finally alone, just her and her two Charas, who silently alighted on branches not too far away from her position, thus giving her some much-needed privacy.

Now that she knew she was definitely alone, crystalline tears dropped from her eyes. In this situation, her loneliness was both a curse and a blessing; at least this way no one would see her break down. But then, if she wasn't always alone she wouldn't have to cry.

"Muri…" A faint whisper reached her ears.

Disregarding it, she sank down on the grass against a tree, wrapping her arms around her legs. She stared up into the clear blue sky, with tears still running down her cheeks. Had anyone chanced upon her sitting there, they would've gasped at the melancholic mood. It was both beautiful and disheartening to witness such brokenness and emptiness so clearly pronounced in her golden eyes.

She didn't know how long she had spent there, just gazing blankly up through the canvas of the trees, alone with her tears. Perhaps it had been hours, minutes, or even just seconds. But who cared? Nobody missed her anyway. Would they even notice if she died?

Her depression slowly but surely evolved into anger. _Why the fuck do I have to be always alone? Why can't it be their turn to feel what I feel all the fucking time? It's not my fucking fault… IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!_ She screamed in her head.

All at once, everything seemed to explode in a wave of chaos. About 20 X-Eggs burst out from the trees, surrounding her. Cross and Dia zipped to her side, ready for a Chara-nari.

"Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku!" she screamed out.

Black and gold ribbons appeared from nowhere, and both Cross and Dia went into their eggs. Amu's eyes widened slightly from surprise, but went with it anyway.

Pink ears and a wolf tail appeared in their respective places, and Amulet Dia's outfit appeared. The only differences were that all of the pale yellow parts were black, and the yellow parts were a darker, golden yellow. Her hair twisted into pigtails, each held in place by a clip of two black diamonds with a bigger gold one in between them. A microphone similar to Amulet Dia's appeared, but there was no headband attached to it. The microphone was simply inserted into her ear, and was black and gold as well.

"Chara-nari: Wolf Dia!" Three voices chorused.

"Dark Star Whip!" Amu cried. A black whip with a smattering of golden stars all across the handle appeared in a shower of black and gold sparkles.

Raising the whip, she snapped it in alternating directions, starting with her front diagonal left, and then going to back diagonal right. Her whip snapped to her immediate left, and then her right. This sort of pattern repeated until she had snapped the whip in a five-pointed star pattern. The air glowed where she had cracked her whip, creating a gold star.

"Star-Crossed Divine!" She announced the name of her attack, and watched as all the X-Eggs froze in place.

Leaping backward to a vantage point where she could see all of the X-Eggs, she proceeded to create a heart with her hands.

"Negative Heart: Lock-On!" she cried, and all of the black eggs were surrounded by gold sparkles.

"Open Heart!" With that, black hearts with gold bits emanated from her Humpty Lock, and purified all of the eggs.

Exhausted, Amu de-Transformed, and slumped down on the ground with her equally-as-exhausted Charas.

"What was that?" she wondered breathlessly, with no answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Muri: impossible  
> "Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku!": "My heart: unlock!"  
> Chara-nari: Character Transformation


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cringing really hard re-reading this because I've realized that I put in way too many swear words back when I originally wrote this fic, oh man.

Cross and Dia recovered first, being the smallest. They flew up into the air in front of Amu, waiting for her to catch her breath.

"Amu-chan, that is what happens when you Chara-nari while you are feeling a particularly strong emotion," Cross explained before Amu blew up at her like earlier this morning. "It might be only anger that triggers it, but I'm not sure."

"How come this is happening?" Amu asked, confused. It was already unheard of for someone to have five Charas, and unusual to be able to Chara-nari, but to even have cross-Chara-naris? How many Chara-naris did she have now? Amulet Heart, Spade, Clover, Cross, Angel, and Devil, along with all the cross transformations she had, and even Amulet Fortune.

"Who knows, Amu-chan, it just is," Cross shrugged.

Dia just smiled, not saying anything.

"God, I'm so fucked up…" Amu whispered. All she had ever wanted was to fit in, but it seemed that she was meant to stand out and be different.

"Now, now, Amu-chan, you can't keep thinking like that," Dia softly admonished. "Remember, you have to believe in yourself and your inner radiance."

Amu gave a small smile, looking down. Dia always said things like that.

"Now what am I going to do, Nagihiko is making out with Rima. So much for talking, huh," she said sardonically.

"We could just go home," Cross suggested.

"Yeah, I guess…" Amu paused. "Wait a minute; I have to go shopping…"

"Why?" Cross asked.

"I need to buy food, it's been three days since Papa and Mama left," she replied.

"Oh, I see," Cross answered.

Amu got up, brushed herself off, and went on her way.

Listening to her iPod once again, she started thinking about what to get. Cross and Dia perched on her shoulders so they wouldn't get lost when she entered the crowd.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't notice a shadowy figure and a glimpse of silver.

Walking into the store, she picked up what she wanted, and went to the check-out. Paying for her items, she started walking back home, suddenly realizing that the last thing she wanted was to see more of the Guardians making out with their significant others.

 _Well this shit blows, I'm the only fucking Guardian who doesn't have someone,_ she thought. _I fucking miss you Ikuto, even though you're an idiot sometimes…_

She walked past an alleyway, thinking nothing of it. The shadowy figure appeared again, and quickly faded out of sight.

Dia was absentmindedly humming a little tune. Amu heard it over her own music, and she felt a pain in her chest. It was Yuki no Uta, the song she sang for Ikuto when he played it on his violin.

Tears sprang to her eyes once again. She couldn't help it; she loved him, after all.

_What am I going to do, he's not going to come back after I yelled at him, is he? Especially since he seemed so angry too…_

Letting one tear drop down her cheek, she unlocked her front door, and went inside. Turning around to lock it, she saw a shadow fall across her doorstep. Immediately realizing something was off, she slammed her door and bolted it. Breathing a sigh of relief, she walked into the kitchen to unpack the things she bought.

 _What the hell was that?_ She wondered.

Outside, the figure swore quietly and then disappeared around the corner.

Finishing her unpacking, she went back upstairs to her bedroom. She sat on her bed, at a loss as to what to do.

She couldn't help but think, _Do I really depend on the Guardians that much? Are they all I've got? I just have them…And Ikuto…_

Ran, Miki and Su floated closer. They had been playing around in Amu's room while she was gone.

Taking it upon herself to explain to the other Charas, Cross told Ran, Miki and Su what had happened.

"So that means we can all Chara-nari with you and Amu-chan!" exclaimed Ran to Cross.

Lying down on her bed, Amu crossed her arms behind her head, thinking of what she was going to do.

After about 10 minutes of mindless daydreaming, she sighed and turned to look at her clock. 2:42pm.

"What am I going to do?" Amu asked out loud.

"You should call or text Ikuto to apologize, desu," Su suggested.

"But…" Amu started.

"Amu-chan, sometimes you have to make the first move, even when you don't want to. Otherwise, nothing will happen. Besides, you and Ikuto are so stubborn, you'll never forgive each other if you don't take the first step," Miki lectured.

"You just want to see Yoru again, don't you," Amu said flatly.

Miki blushed, and didn't say anything.

"I could, but what if he doesn't forgive me? What if he thinks I'm just a stupid, selfish child who doesn't know anything?" The pinkette continued.

"Shh, Amu-chan. You won't know until you try, right?" Dia comforted her.

Amu sighed again.

"I think he hates me now, but fine," she relented.

Picking up her phone, she tentatively started tapping out sentences. If she called him, she knew she wouldn't be able to say what needed to be said.

When she had finished, her text was longer than originally planned. Amu thought she would just say that she was sorry for yelling, but by the end, she had written:

_Dear Ikuto,_

_I'm sorry about what happened a few nights ago… I just missed you so much and I didn't expect to see you so suddenly… I was just so angry that you just came in like you used to always do and pretended you hadn't been gone for years… Why didn't you call me? I thought you had moved on, and that hurt me like you wouldn't believe. I hope you can forgive me, because I miss you so fucking much…_

_I love you…_

_Amu_

She stared at the text for about 5 minutes, trying to garner enough courage to actually press the "Send" button. She would've spent much more time agonizing about it had Ran not flown over and simply pressed it herself. Upon realizing what her first Chara had just done, Amu jumped up and proceeded to chase Ran around the room. Both of them knew that the other one wasn't serious. That was just one of the ways how they had fun with each other.

About 15 minutes later, Amu flopped back on her bed, exhausted from all the exercise she had just had by chasing around all five Charas. The game had extended to the rest of them after they tripped up Amu.

"Wow, that was fun," Amu said breathlessly, her cheeks pink. She reached over to check her phone to see if Ikuto had messaged her back, and sure enough, he had. Heart racing, she opened up his text.

_Amu-koi,_

_I had forgiven you a long time ago. Now, I'm trying to forgive myself for hurting you._

_Just promise me, you won't ever cut again._

_Ikuto_

Blushing, Amu read his message over once again, just to make sure she had read it correctly. Her eyes glittered, rivalling the sparkle of five cut diamonds.

Dia smiled again; Amu's radiance increased for the first time since before Ikuto left.

 _Ikuto, you do such good things for Amu-chan, don't ever hurt her again,_ she thought to herself.

 _I can't believe he forgave me,_ Amu thought in disbelief. _I mean, I was so cruel to him and he forgives me just like that?_

She shook her head. _I should just be glad he did, anyway. I wonder when I'll see him again…_

Amu glanced again at the text, trying to take it all in. Suddenly, she noticed the bottom part.

"'Just promise me, you won't ever cut again'? How could he say something like that? Especially because I told him why I cut… It was for him… But I can't promise him that…" She whispered to no one in particular.

Sighing at the fact that her happy mood was once again coloured by something unpleasant, she tried to shake it off. Looking at the clock again, she saw it was only about 3:25pm.

"What am I going to do now? I'm so bored," Amu whined. She was in better spirits now, knowing that Ikuto forgave her, even though he asked her to stop doing the one thing that actually made her feel better consistently.

"We should exercise!" cheered Ran. It was such a typical response from her.

Miki rolled her eyes upon hearing her pink sister.

"Maybe we should draw," she suggested, being the Chara for artistic talent.

"Hmm, I should dance. I haven't done that in a long time," Amu said thoughtfully.

"Wai wai! Amu-chan is getting exercise!" Ran excitedly announced.

"Hey, what do you mean by that?" Amu demanded, having caught on to what Ran had said.

"Nothing!" Ran quickly replied, and dived into her egg.

Sighing exasperatedly, Amu looked in her closet for comfortable clothes, and successfully found an outfit. She went into the bathroom and quickly changed into black yoga pants and a black tank top with a white star in the centre. She pulled off her socks, letting her black-painted toenails show. It was easier to dance without socks.

Amu walked out of the bathroom with her iPod (it was in her hoodie pocket) and plugged it into her speakers. She chose a song that had a moderate tempo, wanting to start out slow. It had been a while since she had danced, after all.

Walking over to her balcony door, she shut the curtains. She sat down on the floor and stretched for a little bit; the last thing she wanted in her messed-up life was a pulled muscle or six. Finally pressing play on her iPod, she walked to the middle of her room, and closed her eyes. As the song's speed increased, she went along with it.

Amu had learned to dance lyrical when she was 13, because Ran had suggested it and then made her Chara-change. Halfway through her first lesson, Amu found she enjoyed it, simply because she never really got the chance to exercise this side of her personality; after all, Amu had many different sides.

Dancing had become a large part of Amu's life, partly because she could express her feelings through that. If she wrote about her emotions, her parents would undoubtedly have found it. Mama always went through her room while she was at school, just to tidy everything. Also, Ami had a tendency to burst in unannounced, and Amu didn't want her little sister to see her without her "cool and spiciness". There were some things her family just couldn't know. Amu only had a chance to be herself whenever her parents and Ami were gone, so she took every opportunity to express herself as much as possible before she had to hide behind her façade again.

The song peaked, and Amu's emotions were clearly visible in her graceful movements. Her eyes had stayed closed the entire time she was dancing, and her Charas sat on her bed watching her. Ran had peeked out from her egg less than 20 seconds into the song, and then came out, knowing Amu would have forgotten already about what she had said before. Dia smiled at Amu's contentedness; it had been such a long time since Amu had ever been like this. Su twirled around in the air, dancing along. Cross sat and watched with a small smile on her face, as did Miki, who was drawing Amu dancing.

As the song ended, Amu moved into an ending pose, with her arms extended above her head. Like all dancers are expected to after a performance, she paused for a few seconds before moving again. She walked over to her iPod and picked a different song, and spent about an hour or so dancing like that.

Little did she know that there was a place her curtains didn't cover. Had she looked towards her curtains, she would've noticed a pair of midnight blue eyes staring at her dancing form in shock, and a much smaller pair of golden eyes staring at Miki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Chara-nari: Character Transformation  
> "Wai wai!": "Hooray!"  
> Chara-change: Character Change


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Amu was done her little dance party, it was 4:48pm. She took a shower, not having the urge to cut at all, considering Ikuto forgave her. She was still pretty annoyed at the Guardians, but they weren't as important as Ikuto.

She pulled on a red plaid pleated skirt and an off-the-shoulder black shirt. On the shirt was a skull-and-crossbones decal studded with glittering rhinestones. She used the two belts she normally wore for school to add an edgy look to the otherwise-normal skirt.

Walking down the stairs, she was greeted to the smell of food. _I love Su,_ she thought. Being the cooking Chara, Su tended to make meals and random sweets without Amu asking her to. Reaching the kitchen, she saw Su had made shrimp tempura udon and some unagi sushi. Smiling at her Charas, she sat down with an "Itadakimasu!" and began to eat.

By the time she finished eating, it was 6:30pm, due to a mix of talking to her Charas and just eating slow. Cleaning up, she went upstairs once more, and found Ikuto lounging on her bed.

"What the fuck?" Amu wondered out loud. "How the hell did you get in here?"

"Be creative," Ikuto drawled. Yoru looked up upon her approach, and, seeing Miki float in behind her, his golden eyes lit up.

"Miki-nya!" He meowed.

"Yoru!" Miki blushed, hugging her little sketchpad.

Disregarding Yoru and Miki's adorable display for the moment, Amu's eyes softened at the fact that Ikuto was there, right in front of her, for the first time since their argument. This time they weren't angry and screaming at each other, and Amu found this the perfect opportunity to appraise the ways Ikuto had changed over the years.

His hair had grown longer, and he had only grown a little taller. Other than that, he hadn't changed very much. Gone was his black and blue high school uniform, for obvious reason: he wasn't in high school anymore. Instead, he was wearing black skinny jeans and a dark blue plaid shirt with all the buttons done except for the top two, leaving his collarbone bare. The sleeves were folded and pushed up so they rested just above his elbow.

Amu was so caught up in her observations that she didn't notice him doing the same for her. Amu herself never really noticed how she grew up, but it was evident to everyone else. Her hair was silky as ever, and she was taller than average. Her chest had really filled out during Ikuto's absence, and her fingers were slender and delicate. Amu's legs were slim and toned, and her peach-ivory complexion made her that much more striking.

Mentally shaking herself out of her trance, she smiled softly at Ikuto. His navy eyes glittered with so many different emotions.

"This is stupid," she said suddenly.

Ikuto looked at her questioningly, his head cocked to one side. His unasked query was somewhat answered when Amu uncharacteristically flung herself at him in a flurry of pink, black and red. Tightly wrapping her arms around him, she breathed in the familiar scent of catnip and the outdoors, and smiled into his chest. This was the way things were supposed to be.

Ikuto buried his nose in Amu's pink locks and inhaled her natural fragrance. Strawberries and honey; it only smelled a little different than before. He smiled tenderly, finally embracing his secret love.

"Atashi wa daisuki, Ikuto," Amu whispered, unable to resist the need to plainly speak her feelings.

"And I you," he murmured back, letting his love be known.

The two of them were completely content to sit just like that. It had been much too long since the two soul mates had last been close to each other.

All of Amu's Charas were quiet, not wanting to disturb the moment. Miki and Yoru sat together outside on the balcony, both being equally shy. Cross thought, _I knew she could do it herself; she only needed a little help._ Dia smiled as she felt Amu's radiance grow.

"Let's go for a walk," Ikuto said suddenly. "Just you and me."

Slightly startled, Amu looked up at him with big golden eyes.

"Alright," she agreed.

Heading downstairs, Amu pulled on boots that had buckles on the sides, and Ikuto put his black shoes on.

Cross watched from the window as they left. She decided to quietly follow them, just to make sure. _Something is amiss,_ she thought. If her hunch proved to be false, she would simply fly ahead of them and arrive at home before they did, so they wouldn't know she had followed them.

Amu and Ikuto held hands while walking to the park; it was the obvious location for them to go to, of course, seeing as it was a beautiful area for them to spend time alone together.

Amu's heart was singing; she was so overjoyed at the chance to spend time with Ikuto. For the first time in years, she didn't feel alone, and she loved it.

Looking at him through the corner of her eye, she blushed a little bit. _I can't believe someone like him could love a girl like me,_ she thought.

They bought ice cream, just a single chocolate cone (they could share, after all), for old times' sake. Remembering what happened last time, Amu inwardly cringed. It wasn't a good experience.

"You have ice cream on your chin," she informed Ikuto.

"Oh, really? Where?" Ikuto asked languidly.

"On your chin, right there," she pointed at the spot of chocolate.

"How about you lick it off for me, Amu-koi?" he asked slyly.

At first, Amu was affronted and was about to tell him off like she always did when he suggested something lewd, but then she realized they were essentially a couple now, so she could do anything to him and no one would care much… Blushing at that thought, she decided to take a chance.

"Why not?" she agreed, with a wink.

Ikuto was a little stunned, not expecting her to agree, but he smiled and lowered his face a little bit. Amu leaned closer and stuck her little tongue out, and moved slowly, closer and closer.

She hesitantly licked the drop of chocolate off (she had never done something like this before, after all), and then ran her tongue over her lips. She shyly smiled, and Ikuto smiled back. _She's so cute,_ he thought in awe, fully appreciating how lucky he was to find a girl like her.

Continuing to eat the ice cream, they both leaned towards it at the same time. If Eru, Utau's angelic Chara, had been there, she would've shrieked about how it was an indirect kiss. They looked into each other's love-filled eyes over the ice cream, and both smiled again.

 _I guess when you're with someone you love, you tend to smile a lot,_ Amu thought randomly, a little dazed over the fact that she got to spend so much time with Ikuto today.

Cross, hiding in a bush, smiled at Amu's expression. _Perhaps I was simply incorrect in my assumptions…_ She started to think, but suddenly paused, seeing a flash of pale yellow.

"Amu-chan? Tsukiyomi Ikuto! What are you doing here, you black cat of misfortune!" Tadase shouted, having seen their little display of affection.

Startled, the couple looked up, having just been indirectly kissing again. _MOTHERFUCKER!_ Amu screamed in her head.

Cross' bi-coloured eyes darkened. _This infidel again…_ she thought derisively. She couldn't do anything to help Amu; it was all up to the pink-haired girl.

Seeing as he got no other reaction other than stares as of yet, Tadase tried again, moving a little closer.

"Amu-chan, what are you doing with that unlucky cat?" He asked.

Ikuto expected her to shy away from the question, as when they were younger she usually avoided the subject of Ikuto being the "black cat of misfortune", as Tadase so often tended to refer to him as.

Amu's eyes sparked with disgust, and she looked at Tadase like he was something she'd rather scrape off the bottom of her shoe.

"This 'black cat' you're referring to is my boyfriend, and I'd quite like it if you could fuck off and leave us the hell alone," Amu hissed venomously, her voice low.

Both Ikuto and Tadase were taken aback; Ikuto had never seen Amu this enraged before, and Tadase was shocked because he thought Amu liked him.

"A-Amu-chan, w-what are you s-saying?" Tadase stammered.

"You heard me, King. You're nothing but a boy pretending to be somebody important. The only one I could ever love is Ikuto. Get out of my fucking sight, _little boy_ ," Amu spat Tadase's position like it was a mocking epithet.

Cross, sensing Amu's rage, Chara-changed, so that Amu's wolf features appeared, shocking Ikuto once again and scaring Tadase a little more. After all, Ikuto had never met Cross, and Tadase wasn't used to this malicious side of Amu. Witnessing her new Chara's work once again unnerved the platinum blond boy, for obvious reason.

Tail twitching angrily, Amu watched Tadase attempt to walk away as if he wasn't affected, but he was shaking a little bit. Smirking, she sat back on the bench, and then felt someone caressing her wolf ears. Moaning quietly, she leant into the touch, eyes closing out of pure bliss. Her tail wagged happily. Ikuto looked down at his little wolf girl and smiled again, still petting her ears.

"You're so kawaii," he said.

"W-what are you talking about?" Amu blushed deeply, unable to control the pleasure she felt from the petting. Her ears twitched a little bit, making her even more adorable in Ikuto's eyes.

He smirked, not answering her question.

"So you have a fifth Chara?" He inquired, changing the subject.

"Yeah, her name is Cross… Hey, wait a minute, how did I Chara-change with her if she's not here…?" Amu wondered.

Cross popped out of a bush and smiled mischievously at Amu.

Turning towards Ikuto, she introduced herself to him.

"Hello, Ikuto, I am Cross," she said with a polite bow.

Ikuto raised an eyebrow, not saying anything, since obviously there was no need for him to introduce himself. Amu smiled a little bit at Ikuto's reaction; it was so typical of him.

"So Cross, why were you here?" Amu asked.

"I just felt like something would happen," Cross said. "But it appears it was in error, for nothing so far has occurred."

Irony has a tendency to kick in at the best (or worst, depending how you saw it) times, and this was no exception. Shortly after Cross had said that, roughly 25 X-Eggs popped out of nowhere.

Sighing in frustration, Amu stood up, and prepared to Chara-nari with Cross. She looked back at Ikuto, realizing he didn't have Yoru with him, and thus couldn't do the same. She smiled to reassure him; judging by his facial expression, he was slightly disgruntled at the fact that he couldn't protect her.

"Chara-nari: Amulet Cross!"

Ikuto was surprised, to say the least, since he had only just met Cross and thus had never seen Amu Chara-nari with her.

"Cross Fan!" The black, crimson-flowered, metal fan appeared in Amu's hand.

Aiming towards the X-Eggs, she swiped it horizontally, instead of vertically like she normally did.

"Demonic Wolf Impulse!"

Unlike Demonic Wolf Rising, which was a single phantasmal paw lashing out, Demonic Wolf Impulse was a translucent shadowy-black crescent with barely-there, malevolent, red eyes.

X-Eggs falling to the ground as per normal, Amu prepared for an Open Heart.

"Open Heart!" Black hearts purified the X-Eggs, and they all flew away, bar one. This egg's design was simple, being just a diagonal split. One half was purple and the other half was black. Cracking open, a silver-haired Chara wearing a poufy purple dress, black thigh-length stockings, and black heeled shoes popped out.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Amu-chan! Things may seem dark now, but soon enough they will get worse. Be prepared," She warned. "However, after the storm it will be the best time of your life."

She smiled, amethyst eyes sparkling, then returned to her egg and flew away.

Amu stared at the spot where she had been, surprised.

"What the fuck?" She finally managed to utter.

Ikuto stared at Amu, still not used to this change in her personality. Cutting, swearing… Who had Amu become while he was gone? Had he really affected her that much? Since he was back, couldn't she revert to her old self? He missed that part of her that was so innocent and pure, so easy to tease. Now, she seemed more like a typical, rebellious teenager. He didn't think he liked that.

"Amu…" Ikuto called softly.

She turned around, undoing the Chara-nari as she did so. Her normal clothes appeared again, and her eyes were bright with inquisition.

"Why do you cut?" He asked, needing to know.

Immediately, her open expression vanished, and her eyes became guarded.

"I told you…" she whispered harshly, voice full of wrath. "It was because of you, because of the people who expect me to be a certain way, because of all the friends who don't care about me, because of my family never noticing me, because of everyone's lives being so goddamn perfect!" Her voice rose consistently; she was full-out screaming by the last part of her long sentence.

His eyes dropped, not able to look at Amu in her infuriated glory.

She turned around, not wanting him to see her eyes full of unshed tears. _No one understands,_ she thought to herself. _Nobody understands and nobody really wants to. They're so full of their self-justified questions, wanting to know why the poor little girl is so fucked up, but really they don't give a damn. They just pretend so they can figure out what's going on in her head full of lies and fears and everything that no one wants to see. If they could read my mind, they'd be in tears._

She couldn't bear to remain there any longer. Whispering, "Chara-change," her wolf attributes appeared and she ran away, away from all the pain and denial and disbelief that permeated the air.

Ikuto stood up numbly, feeling horrible. Why did he have to say that? Couldn't he have waited till they had gotten a little closer? Now he went and upset her again…

Amu arrived in her room, out of breath with tearstains on her cheeks. Collapsing on her bed once again as Cross' Chara-change reversed, she couldn't help but realize how familiar this scene was; after all, it had only happened a few days ago, when Ikuto first came back… Screaming into her pillow with exasperation, she lay there in her fury, thinking about how lovely tonight could have been if only he hadn't asked that question…

Getting up, she slammed into her bathroom, leaving Cross to explain to her other four Charas what happened this time.

Amu got in the shower, fully prepared for a repeat performance of the first time. Razor held loosely in hand, she stood under the hot water, letting it run over her body and clearing her head. Tears escaped from her closed eyes, mingling with the water. _It could've been perfect, it could've been everything I ever wanted it to, but then it had to fuck up like that…It's all Tadase's fault, why did he have to show up so suddenly? I bet he's the reason Ikuto asked me all of a sudden,_ she thought furiously.

When she opened her eyes again, they were over-bright, glittering in the fluorescent light of her bathroom. Clenching the razor a little tighter, she lifted up her arm, to see if her old cuts had healed.

They hadn't. But she couldn't, wouldn't stop. She had to cut, and she had to do it now. Aligning the razor so it was parallel to one of her previous cuts, she slashed, a little deeper than before. But it was necessary, for all of her pain and anger to bleed out.

She cut, again and again, more than she had before. When she was done, she had three new cuts on her left arm, and four on her right. She wasn't left-handed, so the cuts were a little sloppier than normal, but they still served the purpose.

Washing all of the blood away, and revelling in the sting when water entered them, she proceeded with her normal routine and then got out. Drying herself off, she pulled on black sweatpants and a white and black striped tank top, so she could disinfect her cuts.

Looking down at them once more, she saw that they were bleeding again, considering she did cut deeper and longer than before. It wasn't a lot, but it was pretty noticeable, since the red stood starkly against her pale skin.

"Shit, I hope it doesn't scar," she muttered aloud to herself.

 _It's a good thing no one's home,_ she thought, wrapping bandages around her wrists. _Maybe I should move out soon, so I won't have to worry about them catching me…_

Finishing up, she changed out of the tank top and put on a black long-sleeved shirt with a silver-outlined cross in the middle. Swirls and lines in the same metallic shade fanned out from behind the cross, giving it a beautiful, gothic look. She had changed solely to cover her arms. _After all, who knows who'll show up tonight,_ Amu thought dryly.

Stepping out of the bathroom, she saw her Charas sitting on her bed, looking at her worriedly.

"Minna, don't look at me like that…" Amu said uneasily. It wasn't pleasant to have five pairs of eyes staring you, particularly when they were all different (and unusual) colours.

Dia floated over in front of Amu, taking her hand in her own extremely small one.

"Amu-chan, you shouldn't be doing this, but it's up to you. All we can do is advise you not to, but in the end it's your choice," she said in her sweet voice.

Amu looked down.

"Hai, I know, but…" She trailed off.

Dia smiled, and reassured her.

"It's alright, Amu-chan, we know you'll find your radiance again soon, and you won't have to resort to this anymore."

Smiling softly back, Amu flicked off her overhead light, and headed to bed.

 _I can only hope things will get better sooner rather than later. I don't know how long I can take this anymore,_ Amu thought, just before she drifted off to sleep. _Surely tomorrow will be a better day…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Unagi: eel  
> Itadakimasu: "Thanks for the meal!"  
> Nya: meow  
> Atashi wa daisuki: I love you  
> -koi: lover   
> Kawaii: cute  
> Chara-nari: Character Transformation  
> Arigato gozaimasu: thank you very much  
> Minna(-san): everyone  
> Hai: yes


	8. Chapter 8

Amu woke up later than normal; when she looked at the clock, it was 12:37pm. _I love sleeping in,_ she thought to herself. Hauling herself up out of bed, she looked towards her Charas, and saw them still sleeping, eggs closed. She walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open, in case her Charas woke up and couldn't find her. Knowing Ran, she would immediately panic and assume she was kidnapped or something, and Su would believe her, causing much more noise than Amu was willing to deal with at the moment.

She was brushing her teeth when she heard the ringtone on her phone indicating she had received a new text. Finishing what she was doing, she walked out of the bathroom and picked up her phone. Flipping it open, Amu sighed exasperatedly upon seeing it was Tadase. _Fucking hell, can't the douchebag just leave me alone for once?_ She thought. Reading the text, she sighed again in annoyance. _Goddammit, another Guardian meeting. Fuck you all, I'm sick of this shit!_

Nevertheless, she went to her closet for clothes. It's not like she had the option of skipping; the Guardians would just come to her house to check up on her. They'd probably even decide to hold the meeting at her house.

"I can't fucking win, can I," she asked out loud, to no one in particular.

"Amu-chan?" A sleepy voice inquired.

"It's alright, Ran, go back to sleep," Amu called back.

Smiling softly to herself, she made sure her balcony curtains were closed before she changed.

Zebra-print skinny jeans and a simple black, long-sleeved, off-the-shoulder top was the outfit for the day. She added a studded belt and a necklace consisting of multiple small, silver chains attached together at either end. In her ears she put dangly silver chandelier earrings, and clipped her hair out of her face with simple silver barrettes.

Walking again into her bathroom, Amu decided to put on a little makeup for once, just because she could. She put on sparkly black eye shadow and lined her eyes with silver liquid liner. She dabbed on ruby red lip gloss, and forewent blush.

She looked at the time: 1:24pm. The meeting started at 2pm. Glancing over at her Charas again, she saw Miki was arousing from her sleep. The rest of them slept on peacefully.

"Miki!" Amu whispered, trying to catch the blue Chara's attention.

Eyes blinking away sleep, Miki looked in her owner's direction. She was always one to wake up quickly.

"Nani, Amu-chan?" She inquired.

"Since everyone else is asleep, do you want to come with me to the Guardian Meeting?" Amu asked.

Miki's eyes lit up a little bit. She never had the chance to be alone with Amu, but she understood her owner's pain too well, considering the relationship between her and Yoru was similar to that of Amu and Ikuto, minus the disagreements.

"Hai!" Miki whispered eagerly.

Amu smiled at seeing her second Chara's expression. _I really need to spend time with each one of my Charas, and not just all together,_ she thought.

"Alright, I'll write a note for the other Charas, and then we'll go," Amu said.

Quickly scribbling on a sticky note that she and Miki went to a Guardian meeting, she stuck it right in front of the Chara eggs, knowing that at least Dia and Cross would notice it.

Walking down the stairs with Miki in tow, she opted not to eat since she knew there would be food at the meeting. Heading straight for the door, she slipped on rounded black peep-toe heels; they were low enough so she could still walk comfortably, but high enough to create a noticeable difference in her height. A silver bow on each shoe added a cute touch to the classic style. Picking up her black bag with silver clasps, she shoved her house keys, her cell phone, her wallet, her iPod, and a few other things in. The Humpty Lock rested on a chain, tucked inside her shirt so no one would see it. Patting it to make sure it was still secure in its place, Amu picked up her bag and walked out the door.

She walked slowly, since she had about half an hour until the meeting began.

"Hey, Miki," Amu started, looking straight ahead instead of at Miki.

"Nani?" Miki replied.

"When Ikuto and I fight, does it affect you and Yoru at all?" Amu finished. She looked down, bangs covering her eyes. She would hate knowing that her problems affected the happiness of her Charas.

"Not really, we're only would-be selves of yours. It's only if either of you stop believing in us then we'll disappear, but you already knew that," Miki answered, referring to that time when Amu didn't really believe in the Charas and Miki almost disappeared.

"So our relationship doesn't really affect yours?" Amu asked.

"Well, usually a Chara will fall in love with the Chara of the person the owner falls in love with, but it's not always like that. It's more of a personal thing, just like how humans fall in love," Miki explained patiently. It was the first time Amu had ever really inquired into the existence of Charas, and it was understandable that Amu really didn't know much about them.

Amu sighed in relief.

"That's good," She said.

They fell into a slightly awkward silence. They were more than halfway to the garden, where the Guardians' greenhouse was, by the time either of them decided to say something.

"Well, since we're alone," Amu broke the silence, "is there anything you want to say without the others hearing?"

"Eto… Su and I want to be used in Chara-naris more often…" Miki answered hesitantly.

"Okay, I think that can be easily fixed," Amu mused. "Would it be wrong to Chara-nari even when there aren't X-Eggs to cleanse?"

"No, I don't think so," the blue-haired Chara replied.

"Alright then… Anything else?" Amu inquired.

"Nope, I think that's about it…" Miki responded.

"Okay then," Amu said somewhat absentmindedly, now concentrating on the task of pretending she was completely fine and her normal self. _God, I fucking hate pretending like this, but should I appear "different" to them, they'd all fucking squawk like chickens with their heads cut off. Honestly, am I not allowed to change?_ Amu thought irritably.

Miki looked at Amu with her big blue eyes, aware of what Amu was in the process of doing. It was sad that she had to pretend to people who consider themselves her "friends", but they just didn't understand. Sighing, she continued following Amu to the garden.

 _Let's pray this doesn't go to shit,_ was Amu's last true thought before the veil of her fake personality fell over her.

"Konnichi wa, minna!" Amu said brightly.

"Amu-tan!" Yaya squealed from her seat.

Rima, dressed in an ensemble of a purple pleated skirt and a sky blue, flowery blouse, looked as bored as she normally did. Her delicate feet, encased in white stockings and shiny black Mary-Janes, kicked back and forth to reinforce this impression. Nagihiko stood, calmly pouring tea and preparing the snacks for the meeting as he always did, even when he was Nadeshiko. Tadase sat to Rima's right, smiling at Amu.

"Konnichi wa, Amu-chan." His soft voice would have melted any girl's heart, assuming said girl wasn't Rima, Yaya, or Amu. Tadase was wearing blue jeans with a buttoned-up, off-white cardigan, not showing what he wore underneath.

Amu simpered anyway, knowing that was what the Guardians expected.

"Konnichi wa, Tadase-kun," she said shyly, blushing.

An empty chair on Rima's left side was presumably for Nagihiko, and another empty chair was on Tadase's right side. Sighing internally, she knew the chair next to Tadase was meant for her, since Kairi sat next to Yaya, who was on the right side of the empty chair.

"Yo!" Kukai casually greeted Amu. He was sitting at Kairi's right, leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head. As usual, he was wearing athletic clothing; black track pants and a green t-shirt, with white and black running shoes.

Amu nodded and smiled in his direction, sitting down next to Tadase with Miki settling in the center of the table with the rest of the Guardians' Charas.

"Where are the others, Amu-chan?" Nagihiko inquired.

"I left them sleeping at home," Amu replied.

"What about your new Chara, Amu-chi?" Yaya asked excitedly, her light pink dress swirling around her knees. "Where is she?"

"She's at home sleeping with the rest," Amu answered her question patiently, used to Yaya's selective hearing.

"Mou, I wanted to meet her," the childish girl pouted.

"She might come to the meeting when she wakes up," Amu answered carefully. If she said the wrong thing, Yaya would throw a temper tantrum and would be unhelpful for quite a while.

Kairi pushed up his glasses, having not said a word since Amu had arrived. He was wearing a simple dark green long-sleeved shirt, with black Japanese characters written in the centre. Black pants and shoes suited his serious look.

"In any case, we should begin the meeting," he said in his efficient manner. "There appears to be a sudden increase in the amount of X-Eggs manifesting lately. This is an issue, considering we have ridded ourselves of Easter Corporation. It would be understandable if there were only a few X-Eggs regularly, but this amount is absolutely absurd. However, our Joker appears to be more than capable of cleansing them on her own; thus leaving us the matter of gathering them for her to cleanse."

Amu sighed inwardly. _That was an incredibly boring speech, and so help me, if this entire meeting is like that, I will—_

Amu's thought was abruptly cut off by the feeling of sitting on someone. Turning around, she saw a silky lock of navy blue hair.

"You black cat of misfortune!" Tadase leapt out of his chair, Chara-changing with Kiseki. "Let go of Amu-chan this instant!"

Amu froze when she felt her ear being licked. She had known who it was the moment she saw the colour of the person's hair. She closed her eyes in pain, remembering what happened last night. Tears threatened to squeeze out from under her lashes, but she held them in. _I will not cry now, I will never show them the real me!_ She thought with upset fury.

Black and red eyes peered out from over a bush. Amu had thought she had been sleeping, but instead Cross had been lying awake, listening to the sounds of Amu leaving. She hadn't heard Amu and Miki's conversation while they were walking, but she had been behind them from the very beginning.

Fluttering out from behind the bush, she nudged Amu's hand to let her know she was there. Amu opened her eyes and looked down, and saw Cross looking up at her. _How did Cross get here…? Whatever, right now I have to figure out how to get myself out of this situation…_ Amu mused.

Ikuto put Amu back on the chair, and stood up, fully prepared to battle Tadase once more. Amu took this as her chance to wipe away her tears and edge away, seeing as the rest of the Guardians were preoccupied with either getting ready to watch the fight or attempting to break the two up before it began.

Cross quietly flew over to Miki and tapped her shoulder. When the blue Chara turned around, Cross gestured toward the doors of the greenhouse, to which Amu was moving stealthily towards. Nodding to Cross, the two of them floated silently towards their owner.

Amu let out a sigh of relief when she made it outside the doors.

"Finally; I thought I'd never get away from them!" She exclaimed.

"Cross, what were you doing in there?" Miki asked.

"I was awake when I saw the two of you leaving, and decided to follow you to the meeting," Cross answered.

"Okay then…" Miki ended the conversation, unsure of what to make of Cross' response.

"Anyway, we should get away from here; suppose they see us?" Amu said, shuddering at the thought of having to deal with the Guardians and Ikuto again.

Rather than answering her question, Miki and Cross whipped around, having sensed X-Eggs. All three of them gasping, they took in the sight of around 25 to 30 black eggs hovering high above them.

"Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku!" With the simple hand gesture, black and blue ribbons exploded from nowhere, and Amu underwent a new Chara-nari.

Like her Amulet Spade outfit, Amu was clad in shorts and stockings, and she had unattached sleeves covering her arms with the ruffled sleeveless shirt. However, that was where the similarities ended. Her shorts were a dark navy blue, and she wore sheer black garter stockings that went to mid-thigh. The garters were black lace. Unlike the striped socks she wore for Amulet Spade, these stockings did not connect to her shorts. Navy blue round-toe pumps adorned her feet and were secured by a single navy blue strap around her ankles, and her top was black instead of the normal pale blue. The separate sleeves were also black, but edged in navy blue lace, the same kind as her garters. Finally, on her head, instead of the pale blue beret with a blue spade, she sported a black hat similar to a baseball cap, but instead of it being rounded at the top, it was flat. The blue spade was darker than normal. The Humpty Lock was in the normal place, near the top and centre of her chest.

"Chara-nari: Wolf Spade!"

Miki gasped. _Sugoi!_ Amu heard her say.

Everyone inside the Guardians' greenhouse noticed the black and blue glow coming from outside. They all turned to look at the cause, and saw Amu in her new Chara-nari. Their reactions varied.

"Wah, Amu-chi is so cool!" Yaya exclaimed in awe.

"She must have seen the X-Eggs and decided to go and face them alone since we were preoccupied with trivial things," Nagihiko presumed.

"Amu-chan…" was all Tadase said.

Pushing up his glasses, Kairi said nothing but merely observed Amu.

Ikuto, perched on a branch in one of the trees, stared at his girlfriend, recognizing another new Chara-nari. _She's beautiful, no matter what,_ he thought.

"Go Hinamori!" Kukai cheered, with his fist up in the air, grinning widely.

Rima watched Amu silently with her big, doe-like eyes, realizing she didn't know anything about Amu anymore.

"Hmph, commoners should at least tell their King where they're going!" Kiseki crossed his arms in irritation.

Kusu-Kusu simply laughed the way she always did, while Musashi crossed his arms in an observatory manner and watched, much like his owner.

Daichi sat and cheered Amu on, just like Kukai.

"Get your groove on!" called Nagihiko's Chara, Rhythm.

"Sugoi, Amu-chan, dechu!" Pepe said, with her customary "-dechu" ending.

Now, Amu-chan! Cross directed. Since Amu's back was facing the spectators, neither she nor her Charas had any idea people were watching.

Amu dropped her right hand to a 45 degree angle and spread her fingers apart. She closed her hand around a black metal staff with a sapphire at the top. The jewel was emanating a black, almost evil-looking glow, and was held in place by thin, delicate strands of black metal shaped like tiny leaves.

"Ah, sugoi!" was the general reaction for all those watching.

"Dark Sapphire Staff!" Amu announced the name of her new weapon.

Not wasting time, she introduced the name of her attack.

"Midnight Tears!"

The sapphire at the end of her staff glowed ever brighter, and she spun her weapon in a complicated pattern before pointing it, sapphire-end first, straight towards the X-Eggs. Blue sparkles in a flowing, water-like form exploded from the end of her staff, circled the perimeter of the entire group, and held them immobilized.

Dark Sapphire Staff disappearing, Amu centred her hands on the Humpty Lock, making a heart with her fingers pointing down and thumbs curving to make the top of the heart.

"Negative Heart: Lock-On!" Amu shouted.

"Open Heart!"

With that, Amu stretched out her arms, hands still forming a heart shape. Black hearts alternating with blue hearts radiated from the magical lock, purifying the X-Eggs.

Landing on the ground with both feet, Amu stood panting while she watched the newly-purified heart's eggs fly back to their owners.

"There has to be someone behind all of this," Amu said, as her Charas both appeared and her Chara-nari deactivated.

"Yes, it is too unusual for so many X-Eggs to appear at once and so frequently," Cross agreed.

"It can't be Easter though, since we defeated them so long ago," Miki stated.

The Guardians and Ikuto were all staring at this point, still in shock at what they had just seen. None of them were aware of Amu's current conversation, but they were wondering about the power of her new Chara, Cross.

"Just how powerful is this Cross?" Kairi asked aloud, pushing up his glasses once more.

"Who knows, except maybe Amu and Cross herself," Nagihiko answered.

"I want to be as strong as Amu-chi!" Yaya announced, jumping up and down.

Ikuto took this chance to leap away quietly, before Tadase remembered about him and demanded a fight again.

"Hey, guys, let's go home before the Guardians notice," Amu suggested, glancing subtly behind her. "They don't seem to be paying attention."

"Okay!" "Alright." Both Miki and Cross agreed.

"Chara-change!"

Amu leapt away, not seeing a malevolent red eye shining from the shadows of the forest.

"Soon, Hinamori Amu, you'll find out just who I am," a smooth, seductive voice whispered to the wind.

The silver eye vanished.

Amu shivered, on her way home.

 _Something doesn't feel right,_ she thought.

 

Arriving home, Amu opened the door to hear the phone ringing. Quickly slipping off her shoes, she ran to get it.

"Hello?" She said into the phone.

"Amu-chan?" It was her mother.

"Hai, Mama?"

"We'll be staying here for a little while longer, perhaps another week. Is that alright with you? Ami-chan made it past the semi-finals of the singing competition and the finals are next week. If she passes that, I'll call you again, okay?"

"Hai, Mama."

"Oh, and Papa wants to talk to you, hold on."

"AMU-CHAN! How have you been without me? Remember, NO BOYS IN THE HOUSE. AND YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND! OKAY?"

"Hai, hai," Amu replied with a sweatdrop. _Papa is so weird sometimes…_ She thought.

"WAH SO COOL AND SPICY! AHH AMU-CHAN!" Sobs were heard in the background as Amu's mother took the phone back.

"Okay, Amu-chan, we'll be back in a week or so maybe! Bye!"

"Bye, Mama."

Placing the phone back on the receiver, she sighed. _Another week without them… I guess it's better to be by myself than have to deal with my family… This way I can do whatever I want and try to figure out just who's behind the X-Eggs…_

Looking at the clock, she saw it was 3:02pm. Sighing again, she realized she never got the chance to eat, since the meeting was chaotic and then she had to fight X-Eggs.

Walking into the kitchen, she made toast again, since she was too lazy to do anything more. Toast in hand, she went up the stairs, praying Ran and Su hadn't done something crazy while they were alone in the house with Dia.

Opening her door, she breathed out a sigh of relief when she saw Ran dancing in the air while Su dusted her room. Dia sat staring out the window, while Miki was lying on Amu's bed, sketching; obviously she and Cross had gone upstairs while Amu had been on the phone. Cross had floated over to Dia and was talking to her, presumably about the incident earlier.

"Amu-chan!"

Ran had noticed Amu's arrival, and announced her name, letting Su know.

"Amu-chan, desu!" said Su, floating over.

Sitting on her bed, Amu waited for the rest of her Charas to come closer. Motioning for Cross to tell the other Charas about what happened today, she leaned back and finished her toast.

"Ah, so there's someone else behind the X-Eggs!" Ran cried.

"Maybe it's an Easter employee who managed to escape, desu!" Su postulated.

"It might be someone completely different this time, though. Gozen and Hikaru aren't looking for the Embryo anymore, so they have no motive," Dia replied to Su.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, and just keep cleansing the X-Eggs until something happens," Amu suggested.

"I think that is all we can do at this point." Cross agreed with Amu.

They all sighed. None of them said anything for about 20 minutes, lost in their thoughts.

Ran, always the excitable one, jumped up suddenly.

"This is boring! We should all go outside and get some exercise!" She announced, pom-poms waving in the air.

Amu sighed. "But I just ate…" She whined.

"It's been more than 20 minutes since then! And by the time you actually get up, it'll be 30 minutes!" Ran replied cheerfully.

"I believe it takes an hour to properly digest food before you can exercise," Cross corrected Ran.

"Mou…" Ran, sitting back down, pouted.

"We'll go to the park soon, okay?" Amu promised, seeing the state of her first Chara.

"Wai, wai!" Ran jumped up once more and did a little dance.

Laughing quietly at Ran's silliness, Amu looked over at her other Charas. Miki went back to sketching, and Su floated around giving everything a once-over. Dia went into her egg to sleep, and Cross returned to the window, staring outside blankly while thinking.

 _I wonder just who could be responsible for this…_ Cross wondered. _It could be anyone; it doesn't require much skill to make someone feel like their dream is worthless…_

Amu lay down on her bed, also thinking, about Ikuto.

_I'm afraid to face him now… What if he asks me that again? I can't handle him looking at me with such concern… I can't tell him or he'll pity me… I'm so sorry, Ikuto, but I can't tell you why. You wouldn't understand… Besides, I'm sure you don't want a fucked up girl like me… You could do so much better, you could find another girl who's closer to your age, who knows how to treat you right, who can give you what you want… But I'm just not ready, I'm sorry… You'll forget me soon enough, just move on… Don't worry about me anymore… You'll do fine without me…_

Miki looked up and stared at Amu; it was obvious she was thinking about Ikuto again, since she had that broken look on her face, and her eyes were beginning to tear up.

"Amu-chan," Miki spoke up. "We should go to the park now, before it gets dark."

Shaken out of her thoughts, Amu surreptitiously wiped away the tears that had gathered. Smiling at Miki in thanks, she stood up.

"Guys, are you ready to go to the park?" She asked.

Ran cheered again, and Su put her hands together as her eyes sparkled.

"Maybe I'll see a lovely dog or a bird, desu!" She squealed. Su always had a soft spot for animals.

They all traipsed downstairs, and Amu felt almost as if it was déjà-vu. Putting on the same shoes again, black with a silver bow, and picking up the same bag with the same items in it, it was all too familiar. _Well, no kidding, I just did this like 2 hours ago,_ she thought ironically.

 

Upon reaching the park, Amu sat down on the swings, while the Charas played nearby. Cross sat on the swing next to Amu, keeping her company as they both thought to themselves.

Swinging aimlessly, Amu stared at the ground, loneliness permeating her thoughts once again.

"I'm sick of feeling like I don't belong anywhere. I thought Ikuto understood me, but if he has to ask why I cut, obviously he doesn't… Doesn't anyone understand me?" Amu whispered to herself, not expecting a reply.

"Ah, Hinamori Amu, you would be surprised to hear that I do understand you," a somewhat familiar, seductive voice purred behind her.

Twisting around to see the speaker, Amu saw a male teenager, approximately 17 or 18 years old, with glittering red eyes and long, silver-white hair. He was wearing a long black coat left undone, exposing a black button-down shirt with the top two buttons left open, and black skinny jeans. Black combat boots were on his feet, and he had silver earrings.

 _Holy fuck he's really hot…HOLY SHIT HOW DOES HE KNOW MY NAME?_ Amu's thoughts whirled inside her head.

"How do you know me?" Amu demanded, acting like she wasn't fazed by his appearance.

"Does it really matter, Amu-chan, when I'm the only one who really understands you?" He asked huskily.

"W-Who are you?" Amu was quickly losing ground, and they both knew it.

"My name is Ciel," he answered, walking closer to her.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Amu tried again.

"You don't, but I know what you've been though and I haven't pushed you away, have I?" He said, eyes glinting.

Amu said nothing as he walked in front of her, bending down and pushing her chin up with a soft, pale hand.

"Amu-chan, Amu-chan, look into my eyes, and you know I'm not lying," he whispered, looking straight at her.

Amu hadn't noticed her Charas had gone quiet, but she didn't know that they were forced back into their eggs and were sitting silently, due to Amu's doubt that bound them there.

Having no other choice, Amu stared into Ciel's mesmerizing blood red eyes, and saw pain and disappointment reflected there.

 _He's…He's just like me… He knows everything, and doesn't hate me…_ Her thoughts were slightly muddled now.

With a coy smile, Ciel let go of Amu's chin and watched her head drop slightly, hiding her eyes. When she looked up again, her golden eyes were dull and blank.

Ciel's smile grew wider, as he turned and observed as all of her Chara eggs went dark and an X formed on them.

 _Perfect,_ he thought, as he collected her eggs and put them gently in her bag. He picked Amu up bridal-style, holding her close, and leapt off into the night. There was no sign of Amu ever being at the park.

Amu's emotionless eyes stared dully at Ciel's face as they leapt from rooftop to rooftop.

 _He understands,_ she thought again. _He doesn't judge me._

_He understands this pain…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Nani: What  
> Hai: Yes  
> Eto: Umm/Uhh  
> Konnichi wa: Hello/Good afternoon  
> "Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku": My heart: Unlock!   
> Chara-nari: Character Transformation  
> Sugoi: Amazing  
> Mou: Geez  
> Wai: Yay


	9. Chapter 9

"Rima-chan?" Nagihiko asked over the phone.

"Hai?" His girlfriend replied.

"Do you know where Amu-chan is?"

"No, I haven't seen her since yesterday at the meeting."

"That's strange. Maybe I'll call her cell phone."

"Alright, bye Nagihiko-kun."

"Bye, Rima-chan."

"Atashi wa daisuki."

"Boku wa anata daisuki."

Ending the call, Nagihiko sighed. He and Amu had been a lot closer when they were younger; when he was still masquerading as Nadeshiko.

 _Perhaps it was a mistake to lie to Amu about my true identity. Perhaps I should have told her from the start,_ he thought. Dialling Amu's cell phone number, he tapped his foot as the call was connecting.

 _Her phone might be off?_ He wondered.

"Moshi moshi?" A voice answered the phone; a voice that was definitely not Amu.

"May I speak to Amu-chan, please?' Nagihiko requested, not sure as to who the owner of the voice might be.

"Ah, suman, but Amu-chan is not… available at the moment," The male voice replied.

"May I ask who this is, then?" Nagihiko asked warily.

"Just a friend of hers."

"Well… Can you please tell her that Nagihiko was calling?"

"Of course."

Although he had a niggling suspicion that something was off, Nagihiko could not say anything other than, "Arigato gozaimasu. Goodbye."

 

Pressing the "End" button on Amu's cell phone, Ciel flipped it shut and placed it down gently on the night table. He looked at the immaculate white bed positioned next to it, and reached out to caress the pale skin of the one resting there. The lights weren't on, masking everything in darkness, but Ciel's eyes were not exactly human, and therefore had the capability to see perfectly in the absence of light.

"Ah, Amu-chan," Ciel whispered. "You're magnificent the way you are, in all your distress and anxiety."

Turning to leave, he took one last glance at the teenage girl sleeping peacefully on the mattress, fully appreciating the sharp contrast between her pink hair, gracefully spread out upon the pillow, and the pure snow-white tone of the sheets. Finally making his way out, he closed the door quietly before disappearing.

Re-appearing in front of two oak doors, Ciel used the golden knocker to indicate his presence. After a second of silence, he opened the door and entered.

Bending down on one knee to show deference, he bowed his head and placed his right hand across his chest, over his heart.

"How was it?" A female voice asked.

"She responded exactly how you expected, my lady," Ciel answered, still not looking up.

"Good."

"One of her friends, a Nagihiko, called her phone, my lady."

"And?"

"I answered it and told him she was unavailable, my lady."

"Did he ask who you were?"

"Yes, my lady. I said a friend of hers."

"Very good, Ciel. You have pleased me."

The owner of the voice was obviously female, and moonlight shining through a wall window behind her illuminated her dark purple lips curled into a malicious smile. Judging by the silhouette against the window, she was sitting at a desk.

"Your orders, my lady?"

"Prepare her. You know what I expect. Ensure she remains… loyal, so to speak. When you have finished outfitting her, bring her here to me."

"Very good, my lady."

Ciel rose, never raising his gaze from the ground, and left, not once showing his back to the woman sitting behind the desk.

He arrived at Amu's room again; a simple black cross was painted on the door to signify it was hers. Ciel knocked, but did not expect a reply, and opened the door carefully.

His eyes pierced the darkness, and it was clear to him that she was still asleep. Reaching out to pet her cheek again, this time he spoke with the intention of her hearing him.

"Amu-chan, Amu-chan," he repeated. "Wake up, Amu-chan, our lady needs to see you."

Amu's eyelids fluttered open, revealing eyes that were still blank. She looked towards Ciel, and smiled faintly. Sitting up, she watched Ciel walk over to a closet she hadn't noticed before. It was still dark, so she couldn't see what he had taken out.

Ciel placed what he had selected from the closet on the bed, and crossed the room to flick on the light switch. The room was flooded with a pale white light, revealing pale purple walls and cream tiles on the floor. The bed frame was dark cherry wood, and the white sheets added a crisp look.

Ciel had chosen a dress, obviously for Amu to wear, that would end somewhere in between her thighs and her knees. He had also taken out a pair of opaque black socks that went just above knee level.

"Put them on, Amu-chan," Ciel whispered, wanting to see Amu in what he had selected.

Without a word, Amu changed in front of him. Ciel had enough decency to turn his head, but looked as soon as the dress was on.

Upon putting it on, the dress went down to the middle of her thighs. The sleeves were wrist-length, and edged in darker black, small ruffles. It was scoop-necked with the same kind of ruffles around it; these ruffles were also edging the hem. The skirt flared out slightly at the waist, and two black ribbons tied in bows were placed on the same level as the hem at either side. These ribbons overlapped the ruffles and hung down past where the dress ended. A big black bow covered the chest area of the dress, providing simple yet classy decoration. The socks were held up by lacy black garters with a small, thin bow placed on the outside of her legs.

"You're so beautiful, Amu-chan," Ciel said seductively, eyes glinting as he smiled.

He returned once more to the closet and pulled out strappy black high heels, then went over to the night table, opened the drawer, and took out a small mirror, two black ribbons, and a comb.

Knowing what to do, Amu put on the shoes, and then sat in front of the mirror. She combed her hair, and used the black ribbons to tie her hair into two side pigtails, almost like her Amulet Dia Chara-nari.

"Amu-chan, whenever you are here you must wear this exact outfit. When you go out, however, you may wear whatever you choose from this closet," Ciel instructed. He pointed over to the closet to make his point.

Amu nodded silently.

"Now, our lady requires your presence. Come with me, and when you enter, do not look at her. Curtsy, then stand with your head bowed and hands folded in front of you. Always respond with 'my lady' when you speak to her. When you leave, do not show your back to our lady. Do you understand?" Ciel went on.

Amu nodded again, not knowing what else to say.

"Alright then, stay close to me," Ciel ordered, turning away.

 _Where is this? How did I even get here? Who is this "lady" Ciel keeps talking about?_ Amu thought, blank eyes showing a hint of confusion.

"We're here," Ciel announced almost immediately after she had thought that.

 _How did we get here so fast? Was I that wrapped up in my thoughts?_ Amu thought, disoriented.

"Remember, what I told you," he whispered, before knocking and entering, with Amu trailing behind him.

Amu remembered to curtsy, although she was a little clumsy about it, since she had never done it before.

"My lady," Ciel spoke, "I have returned with Amu-chan."

"Wonderful," the woman spoke. "Come closer, Amu-chan." The woman's demeanour changed when she spoke to Amu; she was gentler and softer rather than stoic and impersonal, as she was with Ciel.

Amu gingerly stepped closer, not really knowing what else to do. She was about to look up, but at the last moment, recalled that Ciel told her to never do that.

"Amu-chan, you can look up at me, sweetheart," the woman spoke tenderly, seeming to have read her mind.

Surprised, Amu looked up, and saw nothing, since the woman was in darkness still.

Reading the confusion in Amu's eyes, the woman laughed heartily.

"Ah, silly me, I forgot to turn the lights on!" She said cheerfully.

The woman clapped, and lights went on all over the room, illuminating her face. She was beautiful, with luxurious, navy blue hair and sparkling amethyst eyes. She was wearing makeup, dark purple lipstick and bright red eye shadow. Normally, all of the bright hues would clash, but on the woman they looked magnificent. She looked incredibly young, about 25 years old or so.

 _She's so pretty… Why can't I be pretty too?_ Amu thought wistfully.

"Amu-chan, my name is Ryoko," the woman introduced herself at last. "Only you alone may call me that."

Amu spoke for the first time since she had arrived.

"Hai, Ryoko-san," she said, a little unsurely, and curtsied awkwardly once more.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to be so formal around me," Ryoko smiled.

"O-okay," Amu stammered, unnerved by the difference between Ciel's rules and Ryoko's actual personality.

 _How come I get to be so close with Ryoko while Ciel is so formal?_ She wondered, subtly glancing at Ciel, who was still humbly on one knee with one hand on his chest, not looking up.

"Ah, don't worry about Ciel. He's accustomed to treating me like this," Ryoko assured Amu, catching her eyes shifting towards his direction.

 _How did she catch that? I'm sure I didn't look that -,_ Amu's thought was cut off.

"Now, Amu-chan, do you know why you're here?" Ryoko asked suddenly.

"N-no," the girl replied, blank eyes blinking.

"Well, Amu-chan, as you know, you're a very special girl, since you have five Charas," Ryoko explained. Noticing Amu's surprise, she continued, "I have one of my own, too."

"How come you still have one?" Amu asked, too shocked to remember her hesitation.

"Well, my dream hasn't come true yet, and I haven't lost hope that it will," Ryoko smiled again. "Here, I'll show her to you. Mira, where are you?"

"Right here, Ryoko-chan!" A cheerful voice replied.

A female Chara floated out from somewhere behind Ryoko's desk. Her eyes were pink and her hair was a pale blue, pulled into a single braid. She was wearing a lilac coloured dress and a necklace with the peace symbol made out of gold around her neck. A camellia was tucked into the end of her braid, and she had a golden bracelet on each wrist. Her small feet were covered by straw sandals.

"Konnichi wa, atashi wa Mira desu!" The Chara bowed.

Amu bowed in kind.

"Konnichi wa, atashi wa Amu desu!" Amu smiled back.

"Mira represents my desire to have world peace," Ryoko smiled gently, looking fondly at her Chara.

 _Such a lovely dream…_ Amu thought. Ryoko-san's so selfless, her dream is wonderful… My dream is so selfish…

"Ano, Ryoko-san, where are my Charas?" Amu asked suddenly.

"Oh, they should be in your room. Ciel?" Ryoko turned to the male teen.

"Hai, my lady, I will bring them right away." Ciel departed.

"So, Amu-chan, tell me about yourself," Ryoko invited Amu to speak.

"Ano… I have a boyfriend named Ikuto, but I don't know if he really understands me…" Amu started. She felt really comfortable around Ryoko; it was kind of strange…

"And?" Ryoko prompted.

"Well, I have these 'friends', we're called the Guardians of our school. We're kind of like a student council, but we all have Charas and we cleanse X-Eggs. Ikuto was part of the Easter Corporation, which was after the Embryo, and that's how Ikuto and I met," Amu continued.

"Tell me about these 'friends' of yours," Ryoko said, noticing the tone with which Amu said the word.

"We used to be so close, but now they're all in relationships and then there's me. I know I have Ikuto, but we're 6 years apart in age and people don't understand… And the leader of the Guardians, Tadase, hates Ikuto. The rest of them don't mind him, but still… Rima, one of the Guardians, used to be my best friend, but then she got into a relationship with Nagihiko, and we've never been the same. Also, everyone thinks I still like Tadase, so they don't know I'm with Ikuto now. I can't tell them anything, they wouldn't understand…" Amu summed up her situation tearfully.

"Oh, honey, it's alright. Ciel and I understand you. We won't judge you. You should stay here with us, that way you don't have to pretend anymore," Ryoko said gently, handing her a tissue.

"Is that really okay?" Amu asked in disbelief. She had just met Ryoko and already she was saying she could stay?

"Of course, Amu-chan," Ryoko replied, smiling.

"Well… I'd have to leave in a week and a half because my parents are coming home…" Amu mused thoughtfully.

"Oh, where are they?" Ryoko asked, since Amu never mentioned them yet.

"They're with Ami, my little sister, at a singing competition. Since she made it through the semi-finals, they're staying till next week or so. They might be gone longer if she makes it through the finals," Amu explained.

"So they left you alone in the house?" Ryoko inquired.

"Yeah, they do that a lot," Amu said, hurt evident in her dulled golden eyes.

"Oh, sweetie, come here," Ryoko crooned.

Amu walked closer, and Ryoko enveloped her in a hug. Amu's eyes widened and she gasped quietly, unused to the gesture.

 _Ryoko-san is so nice…_ Amu thought dazedly. _Who needs the Guardians when I have someone like her?_

 

Ikuto's phone vibrated. _I have a text?_ He thought. _From who?_

"Dear Ikuto," he read out loud. "This is Fujisaki Nagihiko, one of Amu's friends. I apologize for bothering you so late at night, but would you happen to know where Amu is?"

Ikuto's eyes widened. _Is she missing?_

Fingers flying over the tiny keypad, Ikuto sent his reply.

_"Sorry, I don't know where she is. Where could she be?"_

 

Amu lay flat on her bed, now wearing a white nightdress decorated in black roses tinged with silver. Her Charas sat around her, all looking a little different than normal.

Ran's hair was in a messier ponytail with a white X across the heart on her visor. Her visor was now more angular, and it, along with everything else that used to be light pink, was now a darker pink-magenta tone. The bandanna around her neck was black, and her pom-poms were red. The hearts in her pom-poms were black.

Miki's shirt and beret were dark blue, and the spade on her hat had a white X on it. Her shoes and shorts remained their original black, but the bows on her shoes were dark blue. Her messenger bag was black, as well, and instead of a vest over her shirt, Miki had on a tapered, black tie.

Su's dress turned a darker green, and her apron was black. Instead of a kerchief on her head, she had a headband with ruffled edges, like a maid. The headband was black, and the clover on it had a white X through it.

Dia's hair was in a ponytail with a headband, exactly like it was when she was with Utau. However, her headband was black, and the diamond on it was gold, with a white X through it. Her outfit was a darker gold, and her boots were black. She had long black gloves as well; similar to how she looked when she was with Utau.

Cross, since she normally wore black and red, was wearing white and red instead. Her dress was white where it was supposed to be black, and the red parts were darker, like dried blood. Her long hair was tied into low pigtails, and her black wings had white feathers scattered throughout. Her pigtails were secured by one white X clip each, since she normally had no symbol on her head like the other Charas.

"Isn't Ryoko-san so nice?" Amu asked out of the blue, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hai, she is, desu!" Su replied sweetly.

"She has a lot of energy!" cheered Ran.

"Ryoko-san's radiance is bright," Dia spoke quietly.

"She believes in herself and has strong love within her," Cross stated wisely.

"She's so pretty!" Miki exclaimed.

"I wish I could stay here forever," Amu sighed. "Ryoko-san and Ciel-kun know what I've been through and accept me as I am. No one else has ever done that…"

 

Ciel stared at his hands, thinking about the power he held in them. With just a touch he could make anyone believe what he wanted them to. That's what he had done with Amu; at the swing set, he had touched her chin, and with that simple touch, he made her faithful to both himself and his lady.

The only drawback of this power was that he had to consistently touch the person again on a regular basis, once every day or so. It wasn't much, by any means, but it took some effort to make it natural, hence he adopted the seductive mannerisms he had now.

Since Amu's Charas were directly linked to her own personality, they inherited the same faithfulness towards them as she had, which was why none of them protested. The X's were there just to denote something had changed; that was something Ciel couldn't hide or remove.

 _Maa, I doubt the Guardians will notice the X's when we eventually meet in battle,_ Ciel thought to himself.

 

It was about 10 at night now, and Nagihiko was worried. He hadn't gotten hold of Amu at all, and Ikuto's reply to his text wasn't very reassuring.

"I'll tell the rest of the Guardians tomorrow," he said to himself. "We'll figure something out."

 

Ryoko laughed to herself. Those little Guardians had no idea what was going to happen. She had Amu wrapped around her finger. The girl didn't know Ryoko already knew about the Guardians and everything; why else would Ryoko have sent Ciel after her specifically?

After this was all over, everyone would thank her for helping the world achieve peace at last. No one would fight, no one would cry, everything would be perfect! No more heartbreak, no more sadness, no more pain…

Tears fell down Ryoko's face as she remembered her parents, and lovely Tomoyo. She remembered their smiling faces. The blood that was splattered everywhere, painting the once-white walls an eerie crimson red. Their soulless eyes, staring blankly up at her.

She clenched her fist, vowing never to forget how they looked when they were alive.

 _Okaa-san, otou-san, Tomoyo, this is for you._ She affirmed silently in her mind.

_What happened to the three of you will never happen again, not to anyone. Not if I can help it. No one will be forced to go through this type of pain ever again. I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Hai: Yes  
> Atashi wa daisuki: I love you  
> Boku wa anata daisuki: I love you too  
> Moshi moshi: Hello (when on the phone)  
> Suman: Sorry (very polite)  
> Arigato gozaimasu: Thank you very much (polite)  
> Konnichi wa, atashi wa *name* desu: Hello, I am/my name is _.  
> Ano: Umm/Uhh  
> Maa: Well  
> Okaa-san: Mother/Mom  
> Otou-san: Father/Dad


	10. Chapter 10

Nagihiko called the King the next morning.

"Hotori-kun, have you seen Amu-chan?"

"No, I haven't; why?" the blond responded.

"I'm worried; I called her cell phone last night and someone else answered it. It was a man with a very smooth, evil-sounding voice."

"Do you want to have a Guardian meeting about it?"

"We have to figure out who Amu-chan is with. I don't have a good feeling about this."

"Alright. How about we meet in the normal place at 1pm? I'll tell the others."

"Okay, see you later, Hotori-kun."

"Hinamori is missing?!" Kukai exclaimed, shocked.

"We need to figure out who answered her cell phone," Tadase said, remaining calm.

"There's not much to go on, but maybe if we wait a little bit something will happen," Nagihiko suggested.

Kairi pushed up his glasses.

"That would be the most logical course of action," he agreed, ever the rational one.

Rima remained silent, staring down at her feet. _Amu-chan…Where are you?_

 

"Amu-chan, I need you to do something very important for me, okay sweetie?" Ryoko cooed.

"What do you need, Ryoko-san?" Amu asked.

"As you know, I desire peace in this broken world. The only way this will happen is if we collect X-Eggs, thus taking away everyone's bad thoughts," the woman explained.

"Demo, Ryoko-san, if we take everyone's X-Eggs, doesn't that mean everyone will lose their dreams?" Amu inquired.

Ryoko's eyes darkened almost imperceptibly, and she made a subtle hand movement. Ciel appeared behind Amu and softly touched her. She had no idea he was there, and her eyes glowed red before returning to dull gold once more.

"Amu-chan, if we work together to take away everyone's X-Eggs, no one will hurt you anymore, remember? This is the peace I'm searching for; this way you won't ever get hurt again," Ryoko continued, her voice saccharine sweet.

The effect of Ciel's touch was like an anaesthetic; Amu's eyes closed until they were only half-lidded, and she simply nodded silently to Ryoko's explanation, thus agreeing with what the delusional woman had just said. Amu would not remember this conversation, but her orders would be ingrained in her mind later.

"Very good, Amu-chan," Ryoko crooned. "Now, tonight at about 7pm, Ciel will take you to a rooftop where you will then Chara-nari with Dia. Through your Chara-nari, you'll sing a song that will make X-Eggs appear. If all goes well, you will return here with the X-Eggs. Should… opposition appear, you and Ciel must do whatever it takes to defeat them and escape with the X-Eggs. Now go; you have some hours to prepare."

Amu nodded submissively once again, and Ciel picked her up bridal-style and disappeared.

Re-appearing in Amu's room, Ciel laid her on her bed, and she slowly closed her eyes. Ciel's useful power required the victim to rest for a while after it was used on them, hence why Amu slept so much; after all, Amu was constantly under his "spell", to prevent her from attempting to escape.

 

"Rima-chan, what do you think about the situation with Amu-chan?" Nagihiko asked his girlfriend gently. After all, the two girls were best friends.

"I… I don't know," the small girl replied softly, avoiding eye contact. "I haven't been talking to her much lately…"

Nagihiko's eyes softened at the sight of his beloved in distress.

"Don't worry, Rima-chan, we'll find her, no matter what it takes. She couldn't have gotten very far," he assured her.

 _Amu-chan…_ Rima thought sadly. _I'm sorry… I'll be a better friend, I promise… I hope nothing bad has happened to you…_

 

"Wake up, Amu-chan," Ciel whispered. "It's time to fulfill our lady's wishes."

Amu's dull, golden eyes fluttered open delicately, like a butterfly.

"Remember, you can pick anything you want to wear from the closet," Ciel reminded her.

She got up and walked to the closet. Everything was mostly dresses and skirts, since Ryoko seemed to like that sort of style. Amu picked a lacy black skirt and a matching scoop-necked top with separate sleeves that flared out. She pulled on sheer black garter stockings and black buckled boots. The garters were of the same lacy style as the rest of the outfit.

Walking over to the night table, she found a red ribbon and tied it around her neck like a choker, the ends hanging down her right side for an asymmetrical look. She combed her hair and clipped it out of her face using two barrettes with a black lacy bow on each.

"Beautiful, Amu-chan. Now, do you remember what we have to do?" Ciel inquired.

"Yeah, I take Dia, Chara-nari, and then sing, right?" Amu clarified.

"Perfect. I'll take you to the spot, and then I'll be nearby. Just do what you do best," Ciel winked seductively at Amu.

She blushed, and nodded.

"Come on, let's go!" Ciel picked her up bridal-style, like he always did, and disappeared.

 _How come Ciel can disappear and re-appear like that wherever he wants to?_ Amu wondered, having just noticed it. She was too scared to ask aloud though.

He set Amu down on a flat rooftop. The moon was clearly visible from her vantage point.

"Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku!"

Amu was wearing a short gold-and-black checkered dress and black heeled boots with gold laces criss-crossing up the front. A large, wide black ribbon covered the stomach area of the dress, and tied in a bow at the back, the ends dangling down to just above her ankles. They swayed as she moved. Her hair was arranged in a side ponytail, held by a black hair elastic with a gold diamond. Fingerless, black lace gloves bedazzled in gold sparkles glittered in the magical light, hiding her milky forearms from view. They went straight up to her elbows. A black headset was placed in her ear, and a small microphone extended from it to rest in front of her mouth, allowing her to sing without having to hold a microphone.

"Chara-nari: Dark Dia!"

Ciel's eyes glittered in a predatory manner. _She's gorgeous in her torment and despair,_ he thought hungrily, licking his lips in a seductive way.

Amu was unaware of the teenager's thoughts, and began to carry out her orders. Opening her mouth, she let loose a beautiful, angelic voice, sweeter and more innocent than Utau's.

Closing her eyes to pour more emotion into the song, she thought about the lyrics she was singing and how sad they were. They applied directly to her life, speaking of loneliness and sorrow and being misunderstood. Under her closed lids, tears gathered. They began to run down her cheeks, making Amu look like a despaired angel. The sight was enough to tug the heartstrings of the coldest person, and bring tears to the eyes of those who watched.

Except Ciel, of course. He was simply enamoured by her display of beautiful pain. His eyes glowed eerily as he smiled darkly.

He shook his head to disrupt his thoughts. _I must wait for my lady's order before I can have Amu-chan,_ he reminded himself.

 

"Hotori-kun?" Nagihiko answered his phone worriedly. It was unusual for the King to call so late at night, unless something was wrong.

"I'm sorry for bothering you so late at night, Nagihiko-kun, but do you feel that?" Tadase asked.

Nagihiko paused. He gasped when he felt it.

"What's happening?" He asked the blond.

"I don't know, but we have to get the other Guardians and investigate. It might have something to do with Amu-chan," Tadase ordered. "We'll meet where the force is strongest in 10 minutes."

"Okay, I'll be there," Nagihiko promised. "Ja."

"Ja ne."

 

Amu kept singing. She didn't know when she was supposed to stop, so she decided she'd just wait until Ciel told her to stop or something happened. She had finished the first song and was now near the end of the second when her eyes caught Ciel standing up suddenly. She looked at him, and he motioned her to be quiet. Amu stopped, and watched him curiously.

She noticed he was looking down at the street below. Following his gaze, her eyes widened when she saw the Guardians minus Kukai, who was probably spending time with Utau.

"Amu-chan!" Tadase and Nagihiko called.

"Amu-chi, what are you doing?! Who is that?" Yaya shrilled.

Rima and Kairi simply stayed silent.

"Amu-chan." Amu turned towards Ciel.

"Don't lose focus. You know what our lady expects. Defeat all opposition, no matter who it is," the teenager firmly said.

Amu nodded, and her face took on a determined look. She undid the Chara-nari with Dia, and did one with Ran.

"Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku!"

Amu's outfit looked almost exactly like Amulet Heart, except for the fact that everything that was pink was now dark magenta, and the reddish-pink trimmings were now black. The ribbon around her neck was black, too. Her leg warmers were secured by black buckles that wrapped around her legs, and her shoes were black and had a chunky heel. She had no heart visor; instead, she sported a simple black headband with a dark pink heart on the left side. Her hair was twined into two braids. Each braid was tied by a black ribbon arranged into a bow with a dark pink heart in the centre of it. Her pom-poms were dark pink with black hearts.

"Chara-nari: Dark Heart!"

Ciel sat back to watch the events unfold. He would be sure to tell his lady about what had transpired.

"Amu-chan! Where have you been?" Tadase tried to get a reaction out of Amu.

"With people who understand me," Amu replied, her voice cold and emotionless.

"Demo, Amu-chan, we understand! We've known you for such a long time!" Nagihiko coaxed.

"No, you've never understood. You just use me to cleanse X-Eggs. I'm just your tool, you don't understand me," Amu hissed.

All of the Guardians looked taken aback. Rima's big eyes widened even further, and she looked wounded. Amu took notice of this, and proceeded to capitalize on it.

"Mashiro-san," Amu used her last name to make her point, "you think you know me, but you really don't. You've been so caught up with your boyfriend that you completely forgot about me." Amu spat out the word 'boyfriend' like it was disgusting.

"Amu-chan…" Tadase attempted to placate the furious girl, but was immediately cut off.

"Shut the fuck up, Tadase, you don't know anything. None of you do. None of you ever saw that I really wasn't in love with Tadase, that I was fucking sick of all of this!" Amu yelled, her gold eyes glowing red.

"But…" The blond boy tried again.

"But nothing! You're just like everyone else…" Amu looked away, and held her right hand out.

"Black Heart Rod!"

Her pom-poms disappeared, and in their place was the dark version of Amulet Heart's Heart Rod. Instead of being mostly pink, the shaft was dark pink and the crystal heart at the top was black.

She drew it back menacingly. The Guardians simply stared, not knowing what she was planning.

Amu threw it, making it spin in the air on its way toward them. The Guardians tensed, but the rod spun in a wide circle around them and returned to her. They thought it had done nothing, but seconds after, a dark pink circle glowed in its wake. Suddenly, the Guardians found they were locked in place, and couldn't even talk.

Looking with satisfaction at her handiwork, Amu deactivated the Chara-nari, and Ciel stepped up, took her hand, and disappeared with her.

A few minutes had passed before the Guardians found they could move again. They were stunned by Amu's display.

"She's truly powerful," Kairi said, pushing up his glasses. "We have never seen this skill of hers."

"Amu-chan didn't want to harm us, since she only chose to immobilize us and then escape," Tadase extrapolated. "She must still have some sort of feeling for us, since she didn't attack us outright."

"Maybe, but Amu-chan seemed really upset," Nagihiko observed.

"How could she…" A small voice muttered.

The Guardians turned to look at Rima.

"She said we were best friends, and she understood me! And then she goes and does that! Was everything just one big fucking lie?!" The small girl had tears of frustration and sadness in her eyes, and uncharacteristically swore to express her emotions.

"Rima-chan, I'm sure she was just caught up in the moment," Nagihiko tried to assure his beloved girlfriend. "You'll see. We'll get her back and then everything will be okay again."

Rima just looked down, not saying a word.

_Amu-chan… Did you always feel that way? Did you always think we never cared about you? If I asked you right now, face to face, could you honestly say you and I are best friends?_

 

"You may enter."

"My lady, the deed is done." Ciel bowed.

"Excellent. Tell me exactly what happened," Ryoko commanded.

"As per your orders, Amu-chan sang to attract X-Eggs. The eggs are currently in the basement. The Guardians arrived, and Amu-chan did a Chara-nari with her pink Chara, Ran, and immobilized them with her Dark Heart Rod. We escaped, and I sent Amu to bed. She's currently sleeping," Ciel finished.

"How is she responding to your… method of control?" Ryoko inquired.

"She retains her normal personality, but she remains obedient to your wishes. She sleeps most of the time, but that is to be expected," Ciel reported.

"Good. You may go, I will call you when I require your services," Ryoko dismissed him.

"Hai, my lady." Ciel bowed and left.

 

The next day, the Guardians held an emergency meeting.

"The man with Amu-chan last night must have been the one who answered her phone," Nagihiko assumed.

"But it sounds like Hinamori doesn't want to be rescued," Kukai ventured, having been filled in on last night's events.

"That man must have done something to her," Tadase said. "We have to get her back, no matter what."

"Yeah!" Yaya cheered. "We need Amu-chi in our meetings!"

Kairi pushed up his glasses.

"We're going to need a plan of action," he said.

"But what are we going to do? We don't even know where Amu-chi is right now," Yaya exclaimed.

"We'll have to wait for us to find her again. From the looks of it, they're using her to collect X-Eggs, so maybe tonight again we'll look," Tadase suggested.

"We'll meet at the park at 6:30pm tonight. Be prepared; we don't know what will happen or how Amu-chan will react when she sees us again," Nagihiko reminded them.

"I can't believe Hinamori would do something like that! What was she thinking?!" Kukai said.

"Remember, Souma-kun, we don't know for sure what happened," Tadase chided his friend.

Kukai scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly.

After finalizing their plans, the Guardians went their separate ways, engrossed in their varying thoughts of Amu.

 _Amu-chan… Am I your best friend? Because you're still mine…_ Rima thought.

 _What were you thinking, Hinamori… From the sounds of it, I don't know if you'll be willing to come back to us, but I'll just try until you give in!_ Kukai thought determinedly.

 _We need you back, Joker,_ Kairi voiced silently, pushing up his glasses.

 _I'm so sorry, Amu-chan, for taking up all of Rima-chan's time. I just hope you'll be able to forgive us._ Nagihiko apologized, recognizing the futility in the action, but desiring the comfort of it all the same.

 _Amu-chi, why did you leave? Do you get better snacks where you are now?_ Yaya childishly wondered.

 _Did you really mean it, Amu-chan, when you said you didn't like me? Have you been lying this entire time? All those blushes, all that stuttering…? And if you don't like me, then who do you really like?_ Tadase mused, his ponderings holding slightly more depth than his fellow Guardians'.

 _Please come back, Hinamori/Amu-chan/Amu-chi/Joker,_ the Guardians chorused in their minds, unaware they were all thinking the same thing.

 

"Ikuto, nya!" Yoru meowed, floating above his owner, who was lying in the grass.

"Mm?" The navy-haired man in question replied lazily, opening one eye.

"We haven't seen Amu-chan in a while, nya!" The cat Chara responded.

Ikuto tensed slightly when he thought about his strawberry, and he recalled the text from the long-haired one, Nagihiko.

 _I wonder if they ever found her… And if she's forgiven me…_ He wondered.

"We'll see her when we do." Ikuto showed no sign of his inner turmoil, instead giving a cryptic answer, and closed his eye again, slipping into a light doze.

 

"Amu-chan, tonight I want you to do the same thing as you did last night, okay, sweetheart?" Ryoko cooed.

"Hai, Ryoko-san," Amu replied obediently.

"Good girl," Ryoko smiled at the pink-haired girl. "You may go now."

Amu bowed politely and walked out, Ciel following silently behind her.

Upon entering her room and separating from Ciel, she flopped onto her bed with a sigh, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"I kind of want to go home," Amu thought aloud. "But I like it here; Ciel and Ryoko-san are so nice and understanding."

Her Charas didn't answer, caught up in their own thoughts of various things.

Amu stared up at the ceiling until her eyes closed and she fell asleep.

She dreamt of Ikuto kissing her and the two of them holding hands. He had smiled at her and patted her head in a loving way, not condescending like he had done in the past. They were at the abandoned amusement park… The place where he said goodbye to her and then left to look for his father, the place she ran home from and first took out the razorblade. That was when all of her pain and emptiness began.

Her once-peaceful dream morphed into a twisted fantasy/nightmare of her standing in the shower, dragging the razor in clean strokes across her wrist. It was like a flashback of every single time she had ever cut. Her hair length changed, her height increased, but she was always doing the same thing, the one action that grounded her and kept her sane.

She woke up with a start, her right hand flying to her left wrist. The pain was so real… She thought, but then gasped. Flicking on the light, she examined the skin to see it raw and red. Blood seeped out of where the skin was scratched deeply.

"Fuck…" was all Amu could say. She must have been scratching at her wrist during her nightmare.

Getting out of bed, she looked around for any sort of clean wrapping she could tie around the scratches. Looking in the night table drawers, she found a first aid kit. Taking it out, she expertly wrapped the gauze around her wrist after disinfecting the cuts.

She sighed to herself. _You can tell I've done this too much,_ she thought, mentally shaking her head. Cleaning up the first aid kit, she put it back in its place, and twisted to look at the clock. 5:49pm; she had about an hour left.

Amu looked at her Charas. All of them were sleeping except Cross, who was sitting up and looking at Amu. The girl felt as if her Chara was looking at her with disappointment and sympathy. Looking away, Amu shut her eyes tightly. _I hope she's not judging me,_ Amu thought desperately.

"Amu-chan," Cross finally spoke.

Turning around, Amu opened her eyes and looked at Cross. The black and red Chara noticed the fear reflected in Amu' golden depths, and felt a pang. _Amu-chan just wants to live free without being judged… Such a tortured soul, yet so pure in her intentions, and always ready to help others,_ she thought to herself.

"Things happen that we cannot control," was all Cross said, but it meant a lot to Amu.

Turning away, Cross knew that Amu smiled, happy that she was accepted by at least one of her would-be selves. _Amu-chan, you know that we will support you, no matter what. All we want is for you to be happy and become the best person you can be,_ Cross asserted silently.

 _At least someone accepts me and what I do,_ Amu thought. _Unlike someone else…_ Amu looked downcast again. _I wonder if he even misses me, or if he thinks about me as much as I do about him._ Amu sighed out loud.

"What to do until it's time to go…" Amu wondered.

Ciel knocked on the door.

"Amu-chan, our lady wishes to see you once more," he said softly.

"Hai, I'll be right there," Amu replied.

She quickly changed into a black dress with a midnight blue overskirt that was scalloped at the bottom. Black bows were interspersed along the hem of the overskirt. The sleeves were flared and stopped at her knuckles. The hem of the black dress underneath was ruffled, and the skirt fell to just above her knees. She pulled on knee-high socks of the same tone as the overskirt, and slipped her feet into black Mary-Jane-esque shoes.

Walking over to the night table again, she took out two midnight blue ribbons. She tied one around a small section of hair on the right side of her face, then took the other ribbon and repeated this on the left side. It was reminiscent of her X clip style.

Poking Dia to wake her up, she took both her and Cross with her, and left the rest of her Charas asleep. She wrote a quick little note to say where she went and left it beside Miki, knowing that the blue Chara would notice it.

She walked out of her room and saw Ciel standing outside. She looked up at him, and he smiled at her. Blushing a little bit, Amu took his offered hand. He led her to Ryoko's office, this time walking. They went down a staircase and turned several times before arriving before the now-familiar set of doors.

Entering first, Amu waited for Ryoko to speak.

"Amu-chan, this time I want you to go earlier and see what happens," Ryoko ordered. "Last time, you were… interrupted, so perhaps this time a half an hour more will make a difference."

"Okay, Ryoko-san," Amu accepted the woman's change of plan.

"Alright, Amu-chan, please leave now to get to the place," Ryoko smiled.

Ciel took her to a different place this time. It was another housetop, but in a different neighbourhood. His smile had an almost dangerous undertone to it, but Amu had always been attracted to that sort of thing. She blushed again but smiled sweetly back.

Going into a Chara-nari with Dia, she began to sing once more. As expected, X-Eggs flocked to where Amu was, floating in front of her like an army of darkness. Cross sat on Amu's shoulder, observing the goings-on.

Since it had taken about 10 minutes to get there, she had gotten only 20 minutes to sing before she was rudely interrupted by a soft voice with a current of urgency

"Amu-chan!"

The girl in question stopped, and opened her eyes in annoyance.

"You again," she hissed coldly. "Why can't you just stay away?"

The Guardians looked surprised at the heightened level of hostility. None of them said anything.

"You obviously can't speak up when it counts, so why bother trying?" The slighted girl continued. "Look at you, stunned by what I'm saying. None of you understand…"

Taking advantage of their inaction, she quickly deactivated the Chara-nari and re-did it with Cross.

"Chara-nari: Dark Cross!"

Majestic black wings unfurled from Amu's back. She was wearing a black dress with two layers of red silk peeking out from underneath the mid-thigh length skirt. A wide red ribbon rested above her waist, encircling the dress and adding a splash of colour. In the centre of this ribbon was a silver cross backed by a flat jet stone. It sparkled when it caught the light, and drew the eye. The bodice of the dress was like a tube top, having no sleeves, instead clinging to her body. A solid black glove with the fingertips cut off went up to the middle of her bicep on her left hand. On her opposite hand, she had a similar black glove sans fingertips that only went up to her wrist, and a silver bracelet inlaid with glittering rubies. A black armband covered her skin from the middle of her forearm to the middle of her bicep. She wore red fishnet garter stockings that went just above her knee and black heeled boots that went up to mid-shin.

Amu's hair was curled, similar to her Amulet Cross Chara-nari, but instead of a ruffled headband, she had on a black tiara with rubies. Like all of her Cross-related Chara-naris, pink wolf ears and a tail appeared to finish the look.

"Dark Cross Fan!"

The black metal fan appeared, but instead of red flowers, there was a blood-like splash of red, with white flowers scattered across it. Black spikes continued out from the ribs of the fan, making the weapon look much more dangerous.

The spikes glowed crimson red. Holding it up to the right side, she slashed the fan downwards diagonally to the bottom left, then smoothly transitioned to the mirror image of the motion; from the top left, she brought it down to the bottom right. As she did this, glowing slash marks originated from the spikes and headed for the Guardians. Only Kukai and Kairi managed to escape them, since they both had Charas with physical powers. The rest of the Guardians felt a burning pain wherever the slashes had hit them, and once again, they couldn't move.

Amu, dissatisfied at seeing that not all of them had been caught by her attack, held up her fan again. This time, she swiped it across from right to left, and an eerie red horizontal crescent homed in on its targets. Kukai and Kairi stared with wide eyes, unsure how to avoid this. It was much bigger and harder to avoid. When it got closer, the crescent split in two, and each one headed for a boy. Upon reaching them, the boys were knocked down and then had their arms pinned to their sides by the twin crescents.

"Shit!" Kukai said through gritted teeth.

"What are we going to do?!" exclaimed Yaya.

"Fuck you all," Amu cursed, glaring down at them. "Why do you keep coming back? I won't ever forgive you for what you've done…"

"Amu?" A velvety voice questioned from somewhere off to her side. "What are you doing?" The voice wasn't passive, but it didn't seem overly concerned.

Spinning to face the voice, Amu's blank gold eyes widened.

"I-Ikuto?!" The girl stammered.

The cat-like man came a little closer, his tail flicking from side to side. He cocked his head to the side, and looked between her and the Guardians down below. His sharp gaze did not fail to notice the white-haired teenager. _He feels a little…off…_ Ikuto thought, wondering just why he seemed familiar in a strange way. Shaking the thought away for the moment, he returned his gaze to Amu, whose facial expression was somewhere between lost, angry, and scared.

Ikuto walked closer towards his little strawberry, noting her expression become slightly more panicked.

"W-what are you doing?!" She said, fear evident in her voice. "Stop!"

The man looked confused, unsure as to why she was reacting so strangely. He stopped. She looked relieved, but still on edge. Quickly, he took five steps and, with his hand, pushed her chin up so her face was forced to be right in front of his. She refused to make eye contact, looking off to the side instead.

"W-what do you want?" She said, the annoying stutter still present.

"Amu, why won't you look at me?" Ikuto questioned, hurt evident in his voice. Whether he was faking or the emotion was genuine, Amu wasn't sure.

 _It wouldn't hurt to just look at him, right?_ In the end, Amu's rational thought won over, and she met his eyes.

He gasped inwardly when he saw her eyes, full of pain and fear and everything she had never told him. On the outside, he remained cool as ever. Seeing nothing else to do, he met her lips in a kiss. Amu's eyes snapped wide open. In the kiss she experienced all of the feelings she had been missing in her life for a long time: love, passion, joy, and pure rapture. Her blank eyes flickered, almost like static on a television screen. A sound like breaking glass echoed from seemingly nowhere, and her eyes became clear once more.

Her Chara-nari deactivated, and the X's on Dia and Cross shattered. Back where Ran, Miki, and Su were, their X's shattered as well. Looking around confusedly, they left the building and started heading towards where they felt Amu was.

The kiss ended too soon. Amu felt like kissing again and again until she finally felt satisfied. Ikuto just wanted to hold her and kiss her and never let go again, not after all they've gone through in the past few days.

"Ikuto…" Amu looked up at her love, smiling softly.

He looked tenderly at her, but his eyes widened when he saw her eyes slowly slip closed, and she collapsed against him.

"Amu?!" In his voice was barely-concealed fear.

He gave a rushed disdainful glance towards Ciel and the still-immobilized Guardians, then picked Amu up bridal-style and leapt off.

Ciel's eyes narrowed, and then he disappeared, leaving the Guardians to fend for themselves.

 _My lady will not be pleased when she hears of this,_ he thought. _She will not be pleased at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Ja (ne): bye


	11. Chapter 11

"WHAT?" Ryoko shrieked, absolutely furious. "This Ikuto has ruined my plans, absolutely RUINED them!" She let out a wrathful scream to punctuate her rage.

Ciel said nothing, carefully avoiding Ryoko's eyes. On a normal day, she would punish him if he did so by accident, but at this moment, she would completely destroy him if it happened.

"Now what am I going to do?" Ryoko paced angrily. "She was the perfect victim, and responded so well to the Hansho!"

The Hansho was Ryoko's name for Ciel's special ability; considering she was responsible for Ciel's existence, it was only fair that she got to name it. It wasn't extravagant or complicated by any means, simply meaning "influence", but it served the purpose.

"In any case, it would be futile to try and get her back now. It seems I must resort to… other methods," Ryoko said deviously, her eyes glinting.

"Excellent, my lady. Your orders?" Ciel finally dared to speak.

"Hmm… Nothing yet. I will let you know," Ryoko said, turning away. "You may be dismissed."

Ciel stood, bowed, and left.

Ryoko allowed a menacing smile to grace her lips.

 _I don't need a broken little girl to get what I want,_ she reminded herself. _People are just a means to an end, after all._

She felt wetness on her cheek. _What is this? Tears? What would I be crying for?_

A tear had fallen because deep inside, Ryoko knew that Amu had been a lot like sweet Tomoyo, her lovely twin sister who was brutally murdered at the hands of their father's enemy. It was so hard to believe their sweet and caring father, the one who had taught them to ride a bike and had carried them on his shoulders, had enemies. And what enemies they were, to be able to infiltrate their home. Such a perfect life… until everything was shattered by a single incident.

They were trained specifically to make no noise, to evade all methods of home surveillance. Tomoyo was helpless against them, as was their gentle-hearted mother. After they were gone, it was only Ryoko and their father. But he wasn't the same after that. He was different, too different; it was impossible to connect the man he was before to the man he had become. Eventually he was murdered too, at the hands of these long-forgotten enemies. Ryoko was spared only because she wasn't at home, but truth be told she would much rather have died in her family's stead.

_I haven't forgotten my promise. Tomoyo-chan, okaa-san, otou-san, you can all rest peacefully soon. I swear this on my life, a life that has never been the same since you were all ripped away from me._

 

Ikuto had laid Amu gently on her bed, realizing her parents weren't home. It seemed like she had been alone for a while, judging by the state of the house and her parents' bedroom. It was quite clean, probably because of Su, but there were no toys or anything to indicate the presence of a child in the house. Ikuto knew Ami was a very enthusiastic singer, after all.

 _Her parents are almost never home, are they,_ Ikuto thought. It was not a question. He was disgusted at the fact that they essentially just abandon her for days at a time. Amu wasn't even of legal age, for Kami's sake!

He ran his hand through his hair and sighed in frustration. He didn't know what to do about his strawberry; with all that happened tonight and the fact that she self-harms, Ikuto was completely lost. _What are you supposed to tell your true love when she says she started hurting herself because of you?_

Ikuto knew that Amu thought he had it all together and never worried about anything; she was wrong. Soundlessly he pushed up his left sleeve and stared at the scar tissue that remained after so many years. He himself had started cutting when he was 13. He hadn't been able to understand why his father had left, why his mother had married the cruel man she did. He had had so many questions with no one to answer them, and he figured that his parents must have hated him to abandon him and Utau like that. His thought process at that age was admittedly somewhat weak and disjointed, but it had been enough to push him to hurt himself. Since his mother had been so caught up in her new husband, it was just too easy to take any sharp object and…

The man shook his head viciously to break his train of thought. He would not allow himself to be gripped in painful memories, not now. He looked determinedly at the pink-haired girl who was lying there, oblivious to his turmoil.

 _I promise, Amu-chan,_ he thought fondly, _I won't let you make the same mistakes I did…_

 

"I can't believe that black cat of misfortune took Amu-chan!" Tadase ranted and raved the next day to Nagihiko.

"Hotori-kun… Why does it bother you so much?" The long-haired boy gently prodded.

The King stopped, somewhat flustered. His cheeks turned slightly pink, and he looked away.

"I…I still like Amu-chan," he whispered to no one in particular.

Nagihiko's eyes widened, not having expected that at all.

"Demo, Hotori-kun, what about Hitomi-san?" He mentioned Tadase's girlfriend.

"Hitomi-chan is amazing and beautiful… But she's just not like Amu-chan," Tadase confessed.

Nagihiko nodded, knowing what he meant. Amu was not like any other girl they had ever met before, so it stood to reason why Tadase was so enamoured with her. But still, he had to figure out his priorities first.

"Hotori-kun, you know Amu-chan is deeply in love with Ikuto-san, however much you try to deny it. Hitomi-san is good for you, she truly loves you and I know you love her back. It may be difficult but you can't keep hanging on like this. The most you can be with Amu-chan is friends, but you have to accept that Ikuto-san is not the 'black cat of misfortune' you always call him. If Amu-chan hears you call him that again, I doubt she will be very pleased. She doesn't hold us in very high regard in the first place, remember?"

Tadase sighed.

"You're right, as always, Nagihiko-kun. It's just so hard, especially since I thought she felt the same…" His voice trailed off.

Nagihiko smiled and patted his friend on the back.

"You're strong, Hotori-kun, I know you can make it through. We just have to figure out what's wrong with Amu-chan and if she's still willing to associate with us, first," he said.

"I'm sure Amu-chan will come back to us," Tadase said strongly. "I believe in her."

Nagihiko smiled again.

"I believe in her, too."

Tadase turned away, having been reassured, but Nagihiko's smile faded and he looked down at the ground.

 _I believe in her, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm entirely sure she'll want to be with us again,_ he thought, sorrowfully.

 

Rima held the picture frame gingerly in her grip, as if she was afraid the glass would crack at any moment, the way her friendship with Amu seemed to have done. She gazed blankly at the picture held within, her eyes staying glued to Amu's smiling face. The pink-haired girl's eyes were sparkling happily, and both Amu and Rima had an arm around each other.

Tears pooled in Rima's tawny eyes, and quietly made their way down the girl's cherubic face. They dropped silently onto the picture frame, distorting the image slightly. Rima's eyebrows furrowed angrily and she threw the picture frame at the wall, lost in her momentary frustration. The glass cracked upon impact, scattering shards all over the hardwood floor. She continued to cry, knowing no one would hear her; her mother was always at work and her father lived across the city. She hated being alone, hated feeling dependent on others, but if there was one thing Rima absolutely abhorred, it was losing a friend.

Amu had been Rima's first true friend; or so she had thought. Fresh tears made their way to her eyes after she realized that she didn't know if anything Amu said had been a lie or not. _I hate this,_ she thought to herself furiously. _How could you do this to me? Was it all just a game to you?_

Rima flung herself on her bed, facedown into her pillow. She screamed out her frustration, and eventually fell asleep.

 

Amu woke up with a start, realizing that her bedroom was not the last place she remembered being. She sat up and looked around, bewildered.

Her eyes immediately locked on to the sight of Ikuto sitting against the side of her bed. Amu's heart stuttered and her lips parted in a quiet gasp. Instantly, an unbidden blush bloomed on her cheeks as she brought her hand to her mouth, remembering the kiss her and Ikuto had shared.

"Ikuto?" She tentatively broke the silence. Amu had noticed that sunlight was flooding in from her sliding door, so it would probably be okay to wake him up if he was sleeping.

He turned and their eyes met.

"Amu?" He stared at her intently, trying to assess the situation and her mental state.

Without any words, Amu threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his lithe body. She snuggled her face into his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his button-down shirt rub against her cheek.

Ikuto was pleasantly shocked, not having expected such a strong display of emotion from her. He moved to sit on the bed next to her and quickly returned the embrace, resting his chin gently on her head. He breathed in the natural fragrance of her hair, and closed his eyes, relishing the moment.

"I missed you," she quietly mumbled.

He brought his hand up to stroke her hair reassuringly.

"I missed you too," he admitted softly, his voice husky with emotion.

"Ano… How did we get to my house?' She randomly asked, looking up at him.

He smirked; amused that she seemed to have recovered enough to ask random questions.

"You have me to thank for that, Amu-koi," he purred.

"W-what do you mean?" She replied, a little flustered.

"Well, Amu-koi, if you happen to remember anything that happened last night, you ever-so-gracefully fell into my arms, and me, being the nice person I am, decided to take you home," Ikuto smirked mischievously.

A blush erupted on Amu's cheeks as she looked away in embarrassment, but inwardly she was glad that it was him to have caught her, and Ikuto knew it.

He smiled at her adorable expression and squeezed her a little tighter. She looked back at him and did the same.

"I-I'm glad you're here," she confessed.

"I know," was all he simply said.

 

Kukai leaned against a wall, staring down at his feet, waiting for his girlfriend Utau to arrive. His vibrant green eyes were unfocused, as he was lost in his thoughts about his "little sister", Hinamori.

 _I won't give up on you, Hinamori. I know you've changed, but not that drastically,_ he repeated himself once more. It was almost as if the more he said it, the higher the chances were of her returning to the Guardians.

 

Doctor Nakahara Sayako, certified and well-known psychotherapist, sighed as she looked down at her file for one Hanabura Ryoko. The latter had been severely traumatized at the age of 16 by the murder of her mother, Hanabura Aika, and her sister, Hanabura Tomoyo. A year later, her father, Hanabura Hideo, was killed by the same group that was responsible for the death of Aika and Tomoyo. This cult was a long-time enemy of Hideo, back from when the man was much younger and the leader of a gang. Ryoko had been away at a school function at the time of her father's murder, and she came home to see her mansion once again swarming with police officers and caution tape. The gang had been apprehended shortly after the murders, but the damage had been done.

After undergoing a mental examination, Ryoko was referred to Nakahara Sayako, for it was noted that the young girl bore thoughts of revenge and was bitterly violent. In the end Sayako could only admit the girl to a mental asylum, where she would be barred from exacting her vengeance.

At least, so Sayako had thought. Ryoko escaped from the facility two weeks after her admittance, and was never tracked down. The case of Hanabura Ryoko was the only blemish on Nakahara Sayako's otherwise-spotless record. Sayako had never encountered such a patient in all of the 12 years she had been at her job. To this day, 8 years later, the psychotherapist still looked at her sole "failure" from time to time.

 _I wonder where Ryoko-san is now,_ Sayako idly wondered. _Undoubtedly she is still up in arms for the death of her family, assuming she's still alive…_

 

"My lady," Ciel said reverently as he bent on one knee, eyes respectfully directed at the floor.

Ryoko stood with her back to her faithful servant, staring out the large window of her office.

"It seems we must do what we can without Amu-chan," the woman spoke. "Tonight we will attempt to gather as many X-Eggs as possible and return here with them."

"Yes, my lady. Anything else?" Ciel inquired.

"Should Amu-chan or anyone else interfere, you will be responsible for taking care of them. I will Chara-nari with Mira and do what I must," Ryoko ordered.

"As you wish," Ciel assented.

He stood up, bowed, and disappeared.

 _Ah, Amu-chan,_ Ryoko thought. _Even without you I can still accomplish my dream._

 

Amu decided to take a shower and change while Ikuto made food for the both of them. Gathering her clothes, she headed into the bathroom. Her eyes caught sight of her razor, in the same place she left it before everything happened with Ciel and Ryoko. Amu's eyebrows furrowed as she thought about the woman.

 _It's kind of sad how I fell for her shit so easily, I mean honestly. That's absolutely pathetic of me,_ she thought, but she felt a little pang in her heart. Amu couldn't help but admit that she had felt so loved and cared for when she was with them, even though it was just a lie.

 _It's okay though; I have Ikuto now, right?_ She smiled softly to herself.

She turned away from the razor. Stepping into the shower, she sighed in relaxation as the hot water ran over her.

Stepping out of the tower, she dried herself off and put on her clothes. She had chosen simple black shorts with ribbons of the same colour hanging down from the outer side of both legs, and a purple t-shirt with a silver design on it. Underneath the t-shirt she had a black-and-white-striped long-sleeved shirt. Combing her hair straight, she left it down and clipped it out of her face using purple barrettes.

Amu walked downstairs and was met with the smell of food. She walked into the kitchen to see Ikuto, clad in black jeans and a navy blue V-neck long-sleeved shirt that clung to his frame, standing over a pot of soba noodles. She smiled at the black apron he had put on over his clothes.

 _It suits him,_ she thought amusedly. _He should definitely cook more often... Assuming he doesn't poison the both of us._

She walked up to him and hugged him from behind. He looked down at the arms that encircled his stomach, unsurprised. With his cat-like reflexes he had heard the quiet padding of her feet over the floor.

"You look good in an apron," Amu murmured, her smile evident in her voice.

"I bet you look _delicious_ in one too, my little strawberry," he shot back smoothly.

He laughed to himself when he heard her grumble into his back.

"Now, now, Amu-koi, we can't be having any of that, now can we?" He teased her a little more. He knew she was blushing without having to look at her.

"Mou…" Amu groused. "Baka Ikuto…"

Swiftly and silently, Ikuto spun around and lifted her up bridal style, putting his nose to hers. He stared into her eyes, mischief running through them.

"Maybe so, but I'm your baka, ne?" He teased.

Amu smacked him for his comment, still blushing. Her lips were curled in a small smile as she relished this moment with her love.

He ruffled her hair as he always did, inciting yet another annoyed grumble, and turned back to the food.

She idly wondered where her Charas were, having not seen them since she had woken up.

"Ikuto, where are my Charas?" she asked him.

"I think in your room sleeping," he replied back.

She made a small noise indicating she had heard him, and headed up the stairs to go find them. It had been too long since she had heard their high-pitched voices and she was almost starting to miss it.

 _And to believe that I didn't like them very much when I first got them,_ she thought. _Now it's hard to imagine life without them._

Opening the door to her bedroom, she was greeted by the sight of her Charas doing what they always did: Ran was flying around energetically; Miki was sketching; Su was fluttering around, tidying up; and Dia was sitting with Cross, talking quietly. All of them turned to look at Amu.

"Amu-chan!" Ran and Miki cried. Ran zoomed towards her owner.

"Daijoubu desu ka?" asked Su with concern, also flying closer.

"Hai, daijoubu," Amu reassured them with a small smile. Her eyes sparkled with appreciation.

"Amu-chan, Ryoko-san is not a good person," Cross broached the subject abruptly.

"…Hai, I know," Amu replied, looking away. "She was so nice, but…" The girl sighed.

"Judging from what she made us do, she's probably going to keep doing so again and again until she gets what she wants," the black and red Chara continued.

"So what do we do?" Amu asked.

"We have to stop her from collecting all the X-Eggs, somehow," Dia spoke up.

"But she's just going to keep doing it until we stop her," Miki said.

"We'll have to figure something out eventually, even if we have to keep doing this multiple times," Cross stated.

"My family is coming home in a few days, though…"

"Everything will work out by then, desu!" Su confidently assured her.

Amu smiled at Su's certainty, feeling a little more hopeful.

"Yeah," she said, "everything will definitely work out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Hansho: Influence  
> Kami: God  
> Mou: Geez  
> Baka: Idiot  
> Ne: Right/hmm/hey (usually at the end of a sentence, or to get someone's attention)  
> Daijoubu desu ka: Are you alright/okay?  
> Daijoubu: I'm fine/alright/okay


	12. Chapter 12

"Moshi moshi?" Amu answered the phone.

"Amu-chan!" Her mother trilled. "Ami-chan made it to the finals!"

"Hm," Amu grunted noncommittally.

"Ah, so cool and spicy!" The woman squealed.

Amu rolled her eyes at Ikuto, who was staring at her in a mix of concern and amusement. Her mother was pretty eccentric when it came to her younger daughter, and slightly strange when interacting with her oldest. He knew that her mother was calling probably to tell her they wouldn't be back for a little while, judging by the expression in Amu's golden eyes.

"Hai hai," Amu droned.

"We'll be back in another week, alright Amu-chan? Ja!" Her mother chirped.

"Ja," The girl replied shortly.

 _She didn't even say "I love you" or anything like families do,_ she thought bitterly. Amu sighed.

"Maa, Amu-koi, at least you have me," Ikuto said from where he was lounging on the couch. He had made himself welcome in her home since her family obviously wasn't around; not that it bothered Amu at all, really. She was quite glad he decided to stay with her; otherwise she would have been pretty lonely.

She sighed and returned to her previous place on the couch before her mother had called, and settled back onto Ikuto's chest. They sat there in content silence, relishing the other's company.

Her cell phone suddenly rang from upstairs. Ikuto chuckled at the noise of irritation she made before she ran to get it.

"Moshi moshi?" He heard her answer the phone slightly out of breath.

There was a silence as the person bespoke their intentions of the call.

"…I…I don't know. I'll talk to you later. Ja," Amu stiffly replied to the person at the other end.

Clutching her phone tightly in one hand, Amu made her way back down the stairs.

"It was Nagihiko-kun," Amu said quietly, eyes to the floor.

"And?" Ikuto prompted gently.

"He was asking about my thoughts on this whole situation with Ryoko," Amu said, foregoing the "-san" suffix to indicate her newfound dislike for the deranged woman.

Ikuto looked at her, silently inviting her to elaborate.

"I…I didn't know what to say to him, so I told him I'd talk to him later, but I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I don't know if I can go back to just pretending everything never happened… I know they're just using me as a means to an end, and I don't want to give them what they want, but everything needs to be fixed…" She rambled.

Ikuto stood up and wrapped Amu in his strong arms, lending her comfort.

"You should do whatever your heart tells you to. You know that I will always be here for you, no matter what," he whispered softly, showing an unusual amount of emotion.

She hugged him tighter, feeling out of control.

"I guess…I guess I should talk to the Guardians again, and see what they think we should do," she said, not liking the prospect at all.

"You're strong, koi." Affection was laced throughout Ikuto's voice.

"I'll call him back tomorrow,' Amu said, closing her eyes and enjoying the embrace.

The next day, Amu was not looking forward to the prospect of calling Nagihiko back, but she knew that was what she had to do.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Ano, Nagihiko-kun?"

"Hai, Amu-chan?" The boy in question replied, noticing that she still used the "-kun" suffix at the end of his name.

"Ano… What are we going to do about Ryoko?" The pinkette ventured, broaching the subject.

"Well… Clearly she needs to be stopped. We know that she wants to take away everyone's heart's eggs, so we're going to have to stop her somehow," he summed up.

"True… How are we going to do that?" As the conversation went on, Amu found herself easing back into her serious, business mode.

"We're not going to be able to do anything until she makes her next move, since no one knows where she's hiding out. Until then, I guess we just have to purify X-Eggs as we've always done," Nagihiko efficiently replied.

"Okay, but what are we going to do when she does make her move?"

"Well… We'll figure it out on the fly, the way we always do."

"Okay. Is that all then?"

"Well yeah, I think so…" Nagihiko paused, unsure if he should continue. "…There's another Guardian Meeting later today; if you and Ikuto-san could make it…"

"Eto… I'll ask him. We'll come if we do, and if we don't, well, we don't," Amu said, feeling uncomfortable once more.

"That's all I ask for," Nagihiko said reassuringly.

"Well, I'll talk to you later, regardless if we come or not," Amu concluded.

"Ja, Amu-chan."

Hanging up, Amu sighed.

"Ikuto, do you want to go to the Guardian Meeting later today?" She yelled down the stairs.

"Do you want to?" he yelled back, considering her feelings on the matter.

She started making her way down the stairs.

"Well… I suppose… We do have to figure out what to do about Ryoko…"

Ikuto's face tightened at the mention of the woman.

"True…" he said dubiously.

"Ikuto, don't look like that. You know we have to do something about her."

"I know, I just don't like that you'll be facing her again," he said quietly, averting his eyes.

Her heart warmed at what he was saying, and she quickly walked over to him and hugged him.

"You're so sweet sometimes, when you want to be," she murmured, smiling into his chest.

"Only for you," he replied gruffly, returning the embrace.

 

"Hotori-kun, Amu-chan might come later," Nagihiko said to the King. They were both at the glass greenhouse designated specifically for the Guardians, waiting for everyone else to arrive.

Tadase looked at Nagihiko in shock.

"H-how do you know?" He stammered.

"I was talking to her earlier today on the phone," he replied evenly. "Tsukiyomi-san may come as well."

Tadase's mahogany eyes darkened a bit at the name of the feline man. Nagihiko noticed this and quickly appeased him.

"Hotori-kun, you have to be civil to Tsukiyomi-san, particularly because he will be with Amu-chan. You know that they love each other, and even though the two of you have had a rocky past, I think you need to set aside your differences for the sake of our Joker, ne?" He said carefully, knowing it was a sensitive subject.

Tadase sighed.

"I know. I guess old habits just die hard… But I have to try, for Amu-chan and the sake of everyone else," he said determinedly.

Nagihiko smiled gently at his answer.

"You're strong, Hotori-kun; you're our King, after all," he whispered quietly to himself.

 

"I'm late!" Amu cried as she dashed around her room, looking for her black waist belt. Ikuto watched amusedly as she ran into her closet, her eyes roving all over the place in search of it.

"Koi?"

"NANI?!" She yelled exasperatedly.

"It's right there."

"DOKO?!"

Ikuto held up what she had been looking for, a stretchy black belt 2 inches wide that fastened around her waist. She sighed and walked out of her closet, readjusting the sleeveless white, silver, and bright purple dress she wore under a black leather jacket.

"Arigato," she said quietly, taking it from him and putting it on.

"Silly Amu-chan!" Ran interjected. "She can never find anything!"

Heading to the mirror, she inspected her hair, which was left down. Being slightly mussed from her frantic searching, she brushed it straight and teased it a little bit.

"Maa, maa, you know teasing isn't that good for your hair," Ikuto interjected.

"Oh? And how exactly do you know that?" Amu replied back in a sing-song tone.

Ikuto's cheeks blushed pink and he didn't deign to reply, instead running his hand through his hair and going to the door.

"You ready?" Was all he said.

Giggling to herself, she grabbed her black and silver purse before heading downstairs, Ikuto following after her.

Getting to the front door, she pulled on her black boots before opening it, letting Ikuto walk out and all of their Charas fly out, and then locked it behind her. She turned around to see him looking mischievously at her.

"…Nani?" She didn't know if she liked the look in his eyes.

"What do you say we… take a more interesting route?" He suggested.

"…What do you have in mind?" She asked suspiciously.

"Nothing… except this!"

In one swift move, Ikuto Chara-changed with Yoru, and picked Amu up bridal-style, then leapt up onto a rooftop. He jumped from roof to roof all the way to the Guardians' greenhouse, all of Amu's Charas giggling to themselves and following behind.

As soon as he put her down she whacked him lightly, her cheeks bright red.

"Mou, Ikuto…" she grumbled.

He didn't respond other than smirking cheekily, knowing she liked the gesture.

She gazed up at the full expanse of the greenhouse. Steeling herself, she looked up at him. He met her eyes, and then looked back in front of them. They both knew she wanted to keep up her tough personality in front of the other Guardians. Striding over to the doors, Ikuto in tow, Amu calmly opened the door and walked in confidently, as if she'd never been absent.

All conversation stopped upon her entry, but quickly started again, as if the other Guardians were trying to portray that they were at ease. Amu sighed mentally, knowing no one would approach her until Nagihiko did so. She noticed Tadase stiffen his shoulders and his knuckles turned slightly white, but he said nothing to Ikuto, who was disinterestedly looking at the plants from behind Amu.

True to her expectations, Nagihiko came up to her, smiling softly.

"Konnichi wa, Amu-chan," he said.

She noticed he deliberately chose to speak as if she had never exploded at them and left, as opposed than saying, "Okaeri nasai," as one was to say after another's absence.

"Konnichi wa, Nagihiko-kun," Amu replied with a small smile.

She had forgotten how he calmed the atmosphere with his presence. Though she still didn't appreciate the fact that he and the Guardians were just using her for her power, she acknowledged that he himself had a sort of power amongst people, and sometimes that was all one needed.

"So, shall we begin?" Nagihiko said. It was not a question.

The Guardians snapped to attention, and Nagihiko took his own place. There were two empty chairs, obviously for Amu and Ikuto.

Amu sighed mentally, going towards a chair. Ikuto followed suit, their Charas sticking nearby but not enough to cause suspicion. All 6 of the small beings knew that their owners were hardly comfortable in a position like this.

"Welcome back Amu-chan," Tadase started the Meeting off. His smile was strained but nonetheless present.

Amu didn't respond but smiled thinly and looked away from his gaze.

Kairi intervened, business-like as always.

"We need to neutralize this Ryoko character, she threatens the entire balance of humanity and we are the only ones who can stop it." He paused. "Our Joker, rather, is the most capable of this. We can only provide support as needed."

All eyes turned to Amu, waiting for her to say something. She shook off her discomfort, reprimanding herself for acting so meek to Tadase just moments before. Why should she be the way she'd always been if nothing worked out for her then?

"Well," Amu began. "She's completely deranged."

"No kidding," drawled Ikuto as a form of support. He squeezed her hand under the table.

She squeezed back. "She plans to take everyone's eggs because she believes that's the only way to happiness."

A stunned silence greeted her ears.

"She's crazy!" Kukai burst out.

"Yes, so we've realized," Amu commented dryly.

"How are we going to stop her?" Tadase asked.

"What do we ever really do, I mean seriously," Amu rolled her eyes. "Usually we just wing it, why should this be any different?"

Rima stared at this new girl in front of her, not knowing what to think of this blunt attitude. That wasn't the Amu she had known and grown close to…

"Well, as I was saying to Amu-chan earlier, there's not much we can do except keep purifying X-Eggs until she shows herself. Since we don't really know anything else about Ryoko, we don't have much of a choice when it comes to dealing with her," said Nagihiko.

"She's a complete unknown, so we'll have to adapt as we see fit." Kairi picked up where Nagihiko left off.

"Yes, and obviously Amu-chan is probably the best one to handle this. She is the most powerful Guardian, after all," Nagihiko concluded.

Ikuto looked at the table of Guardians. They were really so disorganized, for all that the school worshipped their feet. All they ever did was walk around in their special capes and their Charas. Their plans usually consisted of winging it, since they never knew what they were up against, and when they did go up against an enemy it was always Amu spearheading the retaliation effort. He felt bad for his girlfriend, knowing that she was always under constant pressure from everyone, to be the one who always had the answers and fixed everything. He really didn't blame her for wanting to emancipate herself from the childish little troupe in front of him.

That being said though, he did recognize that there was safety in numbers and that if Amu worked alone, she'd easily be left vulnerable if she wasn't paying attention. Ikuto lamented that he couldn't always be where the Guardians could, therefore it was beneficial for both parties involved if she stayed in touch with them. It was a complicated situation, to say the least, because the other students would be in an uproar if they heard Amu quit the Guardians; it simply wasn't heard of. Also, Amu did need the protection they offered, however meagre it may be at times. _I suppose if they didn't make it a requirement to attend these pointless Meetings as often,_ he mused. Returning his attention to the teenagers in front of him, he heard Tadase conclude the Meeting and dismiss them all. Snorting inwardly at the little King's so-called authority, he stood up and looked to Amu to gauge her intentions as to what to do next.

Amu, already standing, grabbed Ikuto's hand and calmly walked out of the greenhouse without a goodbye to any of the Guardians, Charas floating behind. She didn't care if she was expected to stay and chit-chat, she just wanted to go home. The Meeting had been as boring as she expected, with absolutely no advancement in terms of their plan to defeat Ryoko. _I literally do all the work here,_ she thought. _All they ever really do is stand by and look pretty. I mean fine, they didn't choose to not be able to purify X-Eggs, but then they're pretty much useless except to help round them up, which I can also do._ She sighed out loud, catching Ikuto's attention.

"So, back home?" He inquired.

She looked at him and smiled.

"Sure, why not?" She said lightly, and then smiled mischievously. "Can we do it your way though?"

He looked at her and smirked.

"Fine, fine, koi."

His cat ears and tail appeared in a shower of navy blue sparks. Picking her up and glancing down at her wide smile, he leapt off towards her house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Moshi moshi: Hello (on the phone)  
> Eto: Uh/um  
> Koi: love (as in a nickname for someone)  
> Doko: where


	13. Chapter 13

A couple days later, Amu and Ikuto were lounging on the couch downstairs. Ryoko had yet to make an attempt to capture eggs, which made the pair slightly paranoid, but there was nothing they could do until the woman showed herself once more.

Sighing quietly, she glanced at Ikuto, who was lightly dozing. She snuggled deeper into his side and smiled, inhaling his scent. The sun was setting and it cast everything in a soft golden light. _Days like these are so worth living for,_ she thought lazily. Her Charas were probably upstairs, keeping away from the pair so they could have time alone. Staring into space, Amu reflected on everything that's happened so far.

_I still hate the way Mama and Papa always leave, but whatever. I'm used to that; that's never changed. I just don't want to do this stupid Guardian shit anymore, or at least do it to a lesser extent. I mean, the Meetings are so dumb and they never accomplish anything. Sure, it's a social get-together sort of thing, but if it's not enjoyable why should I put myself through something like that? I mean, that's how I got into this whole stupid cutting thing anyway. I couldn't stand being so alone with all these thoughts… But I know that I should stop. I don't want to though. I guess I'll try to make an effort, but I don't know. I don't want to talk about it with anyone, not even Ikuto. No matter how much I love him, I don't want to show that side of myself. I'll stop when I'm ready, and not before… Her mind jumping around, she settled on a different topic. I honestly have no fucking idea how we're going to defeat Ryoko, but I guess I'll just have to cleanse the X-Eggs and it'll work out somehow? I guess it'd be helpful if the Guardians were around but I feel like Ikuto could still help enough? Ugh, whatever, I'm used to not going by a plan, anyway._

Too comfortable to keep thinking, Amu shifted once more, and then she too drifted off to sleep.

 

Amu snapped awake, feeling the odd sensation that signalled X-Eggs were somewhere in the vicinity. She looked around and realized she was upstairs in her bed, covered with her blanket, and that it was dark outside. She smiled at Ikuto's kind gesture. Since the lights were off and he was nowhere to be seen, she guessed he was downstairs doing something. Flipping the blanket off her, she quickly assessed her outfit, and mentally groaned at the rumpled state of her clothes. She knew that was the least of her problems, but there was no way in hell that she would go outside like that…

Flicking the light on and waking up her Charas, she quickly yanked out black skinny jeans with white satin ribbons criss-crossing up the sides of the legs, as well as a black tank top. The top had a white ribcage on it, outlined in a red that almost glowed against the black material. She didn't bother changing her black socks; instead she quickly ran downstairs. She immediately noticed the lights were off and there was no sign of her boyfriend.

"Ikuto?" She called, just to make sure.

There was no reply.

Amu swore under her breath and bolted to the door, yanking on the first pair of shoes she could find. Snatching her keys and exiting the house, she wordlessly Chara-changed with Ran and leapt onto a rooftop, scanning the area. _I really hope Ikuto feels it too and goes to investigate; I hate the possibility that I might be charging into this alone._ Her eyes were immediately caught by the sickly purple glow that X-Eggs emanated. Her hands went cold when she saw a figure standing in the middle of the chaos. _It has to be Ciel or Ryoko… But where's the other one? I should really call Nagihiko-kun, or maybe Ikuto._

She yanked out her phone and dialled Ikuto's number. She hissed in annoyance when he didn't pick up. _Please, let Nagihiko-kun answer…_ She felt relieved when she heard his polite voice over the speaker.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Nagihiko-kun, do you feel that?" She spoke quickly, keeping her eye on the ever-growing mass of X-Eggs.

After a short pause, she got a reply.

"Hai; I'll gather the others and we'll be there right away. You should probably engage first, but be careful. Ja, Amu-chan," Nagihiko said.

"Hai. Ja ne."

Amu shoved her phone back in her pocket, undoing the Chara-change. She looked at her Charas.

"Which Chara-nari do you guys think would be best?" She asked them.

"Logically, you'd have a better chance with Cross and Ran or Dia," Miki quickly assessed the situation.

"You should probably go with Cross and Ran, Amu-chan," Dia said. "If it's not enough then we can switch and hope that that works."

With a nod, Amu brought her hands up to chest level.

"Watashi no kokoro: Unrokku!"

Amu's hair was now in a high ponytail secured by a black heart clip. A sleeveless dark pink crop top edged in black ruffles left her pale stomach bare, similar to her Amulet Heart transformation. Black cloth bracers covered her arms from the wrist to elbow, and she wore black shorts underneath a dark pink miniskirt. Over her dark pink knee high socks with two black lines around the top of her calves, Amu sported black running shoes with dark pink laces. Around her neck was a black choker accompanied by a black heart pendant. And, of course, pink wolf ears and a tail appeared in a shower of dark pink sparks.

"Chara-nari: Wolf Heart!"

Amu leapt from roof to roof, her eyes fixed on the figure directly in front of the mass of X-Eggs. _That's definitely Ryoko,_ she affirmed as she got closer.

"Ryoko, what are you doing?" She shouted.

Ryoko turned to face the pink-haired girl, smirking at the gasp that came from her lips upon seeing her. Ryoko was adorned in gorgeous lilac kimono, her hair done in an elaborate topknot. In her hand was a silver sceptre, topped by a black peace symbol.

"You and your silly little Guardians aren't the only ones who can Chara-nari." Ryoko's voice seemed oilier and more dangerous than Amu remembered. "Sometimes you have to do things yourself, isn't that right, Amu-chan?"

"You don't know anything about me, no matter what I've told you!" Amu spat back, knowing it was a lie as she said it.

"Oh, is that so?" A cold smile settled on Ryoko's purple lips. "Perhaps I should remind you then, of just how much I know about you. I knew enough about you to recognize that you were a perfect victim for my task, even though you failed. I learnt even more when I had you under my thumb. So really, Amu-chan, I think I'm the one at an advantage here."

Amu clenched her fists. _I really wish I wasn't alone here,_ she thought to herself. _Ryoko really does know too much about me, enough that she can get under my skin._

"Aw, is little Amu-chan scared? Don't worry, I'll take all of your pain and suffering away!" Ryoko raised her scepter and the black peace symbol started to glow an eerie shade of violet. "It's a shame your 'friends' couldn't be here too so I could take you all out at once."

Ryoko pointed her scepter at Amu and a purple mass shot from it. Amu's wolf-like instincts made her leap to the side, but the purple mass simply curved and shot back towards her.

"You can't run, Amu-chan! Just let peace settle over you," A deranged, slightly hysterical undertone crept into Ryoko's voice.

"Dark Heart Claws!"

Thick black gauntlets materialized on Amu's hands. The fingertips of the gauntlets were cut off, leaving part of her fingers bare. Over her knuckles, wicked silver claws jutted out, each claw spanning the length of her middle finger.

Facing the purple mass drawing nearer to her, crossed her arms in front of her. The claws glowed red, and she flung her arms outward and down.

"Bloody Wolf Strike!"

A red X sped towards the purple mass. When they collided, they cancelled each other out in a flash of red and purple.

"Why are you doing this?" Amu yelled, trying to make Ryoko realize the error of her ways.

"Because this is the only way peace can be achieved!" Ryoko shrieked. "An innocent, naïve child like you wouldn't be able to understand this kind of pain!"

Amu's eyes darkened.

"I hate people like you. You think you're the only person in the world who's ever felt pain."

"You wouldn't understand what it's like to have your entire family killed in front of you!" Ryoko's shrill voice pierced Amu's eardrums.

Amu let out a shallow gasp, before her eyes narrowed.

"It doesn't matter what you've been through, you have no right to impose your will on people, you crazy bitch!"

Ryoko cackled, her madness clearly evident.

"I knew I couldn't rely on you to help me, which is why I'm doing it myself! I don't need you!"

Ryoko raised her scepter again, and this time the X-Eggs responded by following the motion. Amu was horrified to see Ryoko direct the mass of X-Eggs towards her. _There are at least 60 of them, I can't do this by myself!_

It took all of Ran's athletic ability to avoid the X-Eggs that were flinging themselves at her. Some of them hit and were sure to leave bruises, but Amu was just thankful she managed to get through it without any major damage. She landed back on her feet, breathing heavy. _Where is everyone?!_

"Amu-chan… You're just a silly little girl. No one's here to help you, not even your boyfriend. Where are the Guardians when you need them? Remember, Amu-chan, they don't care about you… And you know it," Ryoko cooed mockingly.

Amu looked down. _She's right… I told her so many things about me and she knows exactly what'll get to me. She knows that I'm worthless, that the Guardians don't care about me. She knows exactly what to say to get me down, because she wants to stop me. But the worst thing is that she's right about everything she's saying._

The Guardians made their arrival on the ground below.

"What are we supposed to do?" Nagihiko asked the others urgently.

"It seems we have no other option but to let this play out on its own," Kairi pushed up his glasses. "If we interrupt now we could disturb the Joker and throw Ryoko into a further rage. It's really not safe to do much here."

"But what about Amu-chi?!" Yaya stage whispered, the quietest she could go. "She can't handle that many X-Eggs on her own!"

"It's not as if we can do anything, anyway," Rima stated bluntly. "The X-Eggs are already grouped and only Amu-chan has the ability to cleanse them."

"It seems the only thing we can do is be quiet and not draw attention." Tadase sighed quietly.

"I don't like this at all… But at least we can cheer Hinamori on!" Kukai said, ever optimistic.

"Just try not to distract her, and if we see an opening we should take it," Kairi said.

They all shuffled into an alley opposite the building the exchange was taking place on, hoping not to draw attention, and fell quiet, listening.

"Your parents don't know who you are, nobody knows. Nobody knows because nobody cares!' Ryoko continued. "All you are is a sad, lost little girl."

"You're right," Amu said quietly. "You're right about all of those things."

Ryoko smiled evilly; it seemed she would be able to claim Amu's eggs too.

"But even if you're right about those things, that doesn't mean I can just give up when everyone's dreams are in danger!"

Amu's golden eyes flashed. She opened her hands and her gauntlets disappeared. _Ran, switch with Dia!_

In a flurry of dark gold sparkles, Amu was once more outfitted in the darker version of Amulet Dia.

"Chara-nari: Wolf Dia!"

Wasting no time, Amu summoned her Dark Star Whip.

"Star-Crossed Divine!"

Only about 10 of the X-Eggs were caught by her attack. Amu gritted her teeth. _I guess I'm going to have to do this in stages._

"Negative Heart: Lock-On!"

Ikuto landed roughly a couple rooftops away, panting for breath and bleeding in several places. In a shower of navy blue sparkles, his normal clothes appeared, and Yoru floated up to sit on his shoulder.

"Ikuto, that was a hard battle, nya. I think we got rid of him, right, nya?"

"I think so… Damn that Ciel," Ikuto hissed, assessing his wounds. _I can't really do anything for my strawberry, I'm too weak as it is._

Ryoko shrieked in displeasure when she saw the newly-purified eggs zip away, back to their owners.

"You annoying little girl! You should just give up already; you've already given up in all other areas of your life," Ryoko snapped. "I'm doing this for everyone's benefit!"

"Because this is so fucking wrong!" Amu yelled back, her eyes molten with anger. "It's fucking insane that you think this is how to make everyone happy and at peace. Without dreams, people have nothing!"

"What do you care? At least this way no one will hurt you anymore, because everyone will get along." Ryoko glared.

"That's not the point! The point is that people should be allowed to do what they want with themselves. Happiness is being able to do what you want freely, and peace is obtained by everyone living in harmony! If no one has a dream then everyone is just existing, they're not living! I don't care if people hurt me, at least they're happy that way! If I deal with all the unhappiness people project onto me, then at least they don't have to feel it…" _Where is this even coming from? I'm so angry that people treat me like nothing… But then again I guess it's okay because everyone is happy without me. I guess that's how this happened in the first place._

"How are you still so unjaded from the weight of the world? It isn't fair! I just want Tomoyo back!" Ryoko yelled.

Amu blinked in confusion. _Who's Tomoyo?_

"But my beloved imouto won't come back… So I have to do this for her!"

The X-Eggs resumed their attack on Amu, and all she could do was repeat what she had done before.

"We have to do something!" Kukai said. "We can't just leave Hinamori to it alone!"

"What are we supposed to do?" Rima asked. "None of us can fly."

"You can do it, Amu-chi!" Yaya yelled, unable to keep quiet.

Yaya's yell caught Amu's attention, and she looked around. _That sounded like Yaya-chan, but I don't see anyone…_ Her moment of distraction cost her as she felt several X-Eggs slam hard into her back, sending her sprawling forwards. _Fuck, it hurts so much…_

"Shit!" Ikuto cursed. "There's literally nothing I can do for her… I can only hope she makes it through okay… I hate being so weak…"

"Ikuto, you couldn't help it, nya!" Yoru said. "You did your best and now it's just Amu-chan's turn, nya!"

"Yaya-chan, you compromised our position and endangered our Joker!" Kairi furiously whispered.

"Yaya is sorry!" She whispered.

The X-Eggs formed a loose circle around Amu, seeming to be amused at her plight. Amu's hands were holding her up, the pain in her back and the negative energy surrounding her making it hard to concentrate.

"Ikuto…" She whispered. "Please come soon."

Ryoko laughed, having caught her whisper.

"I guess I should tell you the truth, Amu-chan… I sent Ciel to take care of him. Your silly boyfriend won't be coming anytime soon, and even if he does, he probably won't be able to do much!" She laughed shrilly again.

Amu felt like she had been punched in the stomach. _There's no way I can do this alone…Ikuto is strong, so I'm sure he'll be fine… Right? But how am I going to survive this?_

"Amu-chan!" Su cried. "You have to get up, desu!"

"Amu-chan, please! You can't let her win! She could be bluffing!" Miki said.

 _You can do it, Amu-chan, you just have to believe in your inner radiance,_ Dia advised from within her heart.

 _You really have no other option, Amu-chan. You started this, and you can finish it,_ Cross put in her two cents.

_I have to do this… I have to do this for myself, for Ikuto, for everyone! Even if I hate the Guardians for not doing anything useful, I can't just give up! I can't keep relying on Ikuto to save me… I can do this, I have to! I have no other choice! I have to do this for the sake of everyone's dreams!_

A multi-coloured glow exploded from the Humpty Lock on her chest, knocking back all of the X-Eggs.

"What…" was all Amu could get out before she was enveloped in a silver glow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Imouto: little sister


	14. Chapter 14

Everyone around Amu could only stop and stare at the brilliance of the light surrounding the pink-haired girl.

"Sugoi…" breathed Nagihiko. "It's even brighter than when Amu first transformed with Dia, or when her and Tsukiyomi-san became Amulet Fortune and Seven Seas Treasure…"

 _My little strawberry is just full of surprises,_ Ikuto thought to himself, staring up at his girlfriend.

Amu could only stare in surprise as all five of her Charas entered their eggs. Ribbons the colours of all of her Charas appeared out of nowhere, surrounding Amu.

Suddenly, she was wearing a sleeveless black dress that clung to her figure and ended mid-thigh. A small silver grosgrain ribbon was tied in a bow at her sternum, and a black and silver lace garter clung to her right thigh. A floor-length black train was held up by a thick belt divided in four horizontal stripes: pink, blue, green, and yellow. The sheer black material of the train, which had sparkly silver detailing, was split down the middle, showing off Amu's legs before they were covered by black heeled boots that went to the middle of Amu's shins. Feathered wings curled around to frame Amu; most of the feathers were black but scattered throughout were bright feathers the colours of Ran, Miki, Su, and Dia. The Humpty Lock was on a black ribbon around her neck, and a silver tiara inlaid with rubies, sapphires, emeralds, yellow topazes, and black diamonds rested on top of her head. Long black fingerless gloves went up beyond her elbows and had a silver band around each bicep.

"Chara-nari: Amulet Soul!"

"The Joker has such power within her…" Kairi muttered, pushing up his glasses.

"That's the fighting spirit, Hinamori!" Kukai grinned.

Ikuto smiled at the sight of Amu controlling such authority. _She used to be so timid and unsure of herself… She still is now to some extent, but she's changed a lot from the girl she was all those years ago._

"You have to stop this, Ryoko! It won't get you anywhere! It won't get you any closer to peace!" Amu shouted. "There's another way to avenge your family!"

"Oh?" Ryoko said, her interest piqued. "And what, Amu-chan, is this way of yours?"

"You have to do something with your life! Find some kind of meaning, live for yourself so that you can say, when you die, that you truly lived to the best of your abilities. I'm sure that's what your family would have wanted for you! They wouldn't want to see you upset over them and hurting other people because of them." Amu paused, debating whether it was worth taking the risk of bringing up Tomoyo. When Ryoko didn't look all too convinced, she decided she might as well. "I'm sure Tomoyo-san wouldn't have wanted you to live this way!"

Ryoko's eyes welled up with tears, and she blinked them back angrily.

"What would you know about Tomoyo?" She spat.

"Nothing, admittedly." Amu said quietly. "But I know that my own little sister would want me to be happy. Even though she's still pretty little, that's the way families work; at heart, they just want your happiness."

Ryoko let her hand holding the sceptre fall to her side, and she looked down.

"I wish they were here with me…" She mumbled, her tears finally falling.

"It's okay to miss people and things," Amu continued. "It's okay to miss how things used to be. But you can't let the past take over your present and your future. You have to find meaning in your life, and hold on to whatever keeps you breathing."

As Ikuto listened to Amu's words, he couldn't help but feel a pang. He knew that everything she was saying was inspired by her own experiences. _I still wish she hadn't had to go through what she did, and what she still goes through. I wish I could have protected her._

"Sometimes there's just nothing you can do. You just have to make your peace with it and move on with your life. There's so much more out there than being bitter and trying to get revenge. Even if you did achieve what you called 'peace', what would you do then? Did you really think that your family would appreciate what you did? You have to let go someday," Amu finished.

Ryoko let out a sob, de-Transforming with Mira.

 _Now, Amu-chan!_ Dia cried from inside Amu's heart.

"Negative Heart: Lock-On!"

Amu's fingers formed a heart in front of the Humpty Lock, aiming towards Ryoko and the X-Eggs that had regrouped behind her.

"Open Heart!"

Silver hearts emanated from the Humpty Lock. It eased the woman to sleep, and Mira, Ryoko's Chara, floated towards Amu. The newly-cleansed eggs shot off through the sky, back to their owners.

"Arigato, Amu-chan!" She spoke sweetly. "Ryoko-chan's been dealing with these issues for a long time without the proper help. Your words tonight helped put her on the path towards recovery!"

"No problem." Amu smiled at the cheery Chara, who floated back to her owner.

"I can take it from here." An efficient, calm-sounding voice came from behind Amu.

Amu whirled around, not having heard anyone approach. She saw a stout woman with slightly greying hair tied up in a bun. She was wearing simple brown pants and a light purple sweater.

"My name is Nakahara Sayako, a psychotherapist at Yukihana Hospital. I've been aware of Hanabura-san's issues for a long time, but due to her escape from the institution I've been unable to find her until now. I really must thank you for your efforts in Hanabura-san's progress, whether it was intentional or not."

"Ano… You're welcome…" Amu stammered, feeling awkward. She was still Amulet Soul, but the woman didn't even bat an eye at her outfit nor her wings. "Eto…"

"You're about to ask why I haven't asked any questions about what's happened here, correct? I have a Chara of my own, who guided me here." At this, a Chara floated out from her pocket.

"Hello, my name is Anzen! I, for confidential reasons, have been able to sense Hanabura-san's whereabouts, and led Sayako here. It took us a while to get here for various reasons, but what's important is that we can take care of Hanabura-san from here. You don't have to worry about her anymore." The Chara had long white hair shot through with dark purple, and white eyes. Her dark purple dress was plain and she wore a white lab coat over it.

With a wave of Sayako's hand, paramedics wheeling a stretcher appeared from a doorway leading off the roof and into the building. They strapped Ryoko in, and went back the way they came. Sayako briskly walked the same way, but not before pausing and nodding to Amu, who just stood and stared, unsure what else to do.

When the rooftop was bare of human life other than Amu, she undid the transformation and her Charas appeared next to her. She immediately sat on the ground, exhausted from all of the Chara-naris she did tonight. Transforming into Amulet Soul took up even more energy than Amulet Fortune had.

"That was so weird!" Ran immediately spoke up.

"I'm glad Ryoko-san is going to get the help she needs, desu," Su said.

"Amu-chan!" She suddenly heard Nagihiko's voice calling from below.

She peered over the edge of the building to see all of the Guardians.

"That was amazing, Amu-chi!" Yaya yelled. "You have so many Chara-naris, I'm so jealous!"

Kukai gave her a thumbs up, grinning widely.

Amu was too tired to care about anything they said at this point.

"Thanks guys, but I'm so damn tired," she said.

"You could be one of those motivational speakers, you know," came another voice from behind her.

 _Why do people keep sneaking up on me?_ Amu wondered, but she already recognized the voice. She turned and her eyes widened when she saw Ikuto's rough condition. There were spots where blood made his shirt cling to his body, and there were rips all over. Yoru kept glancing at him to make sure he was okay.

"Ikuto!" Amu exclaimed. She forced herself to get up and checked him over. "How long have you been there?!"

"Long enough. You did a good job," he said quietly, stroking her face.

She hugged him, making sure not to aggravate any of his injuries.

"I was so worried about you," she murmured into his chest.

His arms wrapped around her, and she felt him start petting her hair.

"We're both safe now, there's no need to worry."

"I just want to go home and sleep," she said.

Both of them Chara-changed (Amu with Ran) and leapt down from the roof; neither of them would have been able to carry the other, due to their exhaustion.

The couple started walking away, but Nagihiko's voice stopped them.

"Amu-chan, there are still things we need to discuss," he said gently.

"I know. We'll talk about them soon. Call me tomorrow, okay?" She answered without hesitation. She wasn't going to run anymore.

"Alright. Have a good night, Amu-chan, Tsukiyomi-san," he replied.

Amu flopped down on her bed with a sigh, having fought through her sheer tiredness and taken care of Ikuto's wounds.

"I want to sleep for a week," she mumbled into her pillow.

She felt Ikuto climb in next to her, shirtless due to lack of extra clothing with him.

"My personal heating pad," he murmured into her hair, holding her close.

Amu ordinarily would have been embarrassed by his bare chest, but was too exhausted for the fact to really sink in. She merely sighed in pleasure at the feeling of him next to her.

"I love you," she whispered, her eyes slipping shut.

"I love you too." She smiled at his husky voice.

_Things can only get better from here. It might be hard at times, but I can do it with Ikuto by my side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Sugoi: Amazing  
> Ano/Eto: Uh/Um


	15. Chapter 15

Amu woke up the next day comfortably warm, her face pressed against Ikuto's bare chest. She blushed a little, but decided she was rather pleased with her current position. Her slight shifting woke Ikuto.

"Ohayo, koi," he murmured, his half-open navy eyes focused on her.

She peered up at him, a small smile on her lips. She closed her eyes and sighed peacefully.

"Ohayo," she mumbled.

They laid there in a comfortable silence, reveling in the sense of freedom after having taken care of Ryoko.

Amu's cell phone rang after what seemed like hours, disrupting the still air. The girl groaned in slight annoyance before blindly patting around for the phone on her night table.

"Moshi moshi?" She answered lazily.

"Amu-chan, it's me, Nagihiko. I realize that the conversation we need to have will be uncomfortable… But we both know it has to be done," the Guardian broached the subject without hesitation.

"Hai, I know," Amu replied calmly, at peace with the idea. She wasn't looking forward to it necessarily, but knew it was necessary to restore a semblance of balance in her life.

"Would you and Tsukiyomi-san be alright with meeting at the park in about two hours, so around 2:30pm?"

"Sure, sounds good. Ja, Nagihiko-kun."

"Ja, Amu-chan."

Amu put the phone back on her night table without looking, vaguely around where her hand found it.

"What did he say?" Ikuto's voice rumbled through his chest.

"2:30pm at the park. You, me, and the Guardians," she said, her eyes closed in relaxation.

"Doesn't that mean we should get up soon?"

"I guess so," she sighed. "Five more minutes though?"

Ikuto hummed in agreement.

 

While Ikuto went back to his place to quickly shower and change into fresh clothes, Amu sat on her bed, mustering up the effort to select an outfit.

"Come on, Amu-chan!" Ran cheered. "You can do it!"

With a sigh, Amu heaved herself up and went to it, knowing Ran would just get increasingly louder if she didn't.

She came out with black-and-white-striped denim overall short shorts and a long-sleeved raglan shirt. The sleeves were navy blue and the rest of the shirt was a light grey. She put the sides of her hair into a small ponytail each, held by black diamond clips, leaving most of her pink tresses down. Amu sat down on her bed and pulled on white knee-high socks, intending on wearing navy blue high-top Converse sneakers.

Her Charas choosing to stay behind, Amu went to stand outside her front door, waiting for the familiar silhouette of Ikuto leaping across rooftops. Upon his arrival, they set off for the park.

"Ne, koi, since we're going to talk about serious stuff with the Guardians, can we talk about something also serious right now?" Ikuto suddenly said.

"Yeah, sure," Amu said, tugging at the hem of her shorts in apprehension.

"I know it's hard to stop, but I did. I know it'll take time, but I'll be here for you… I don't want to worry about you hurting yourself anymore," was all he said, studiously staring up at the sky.

Amu's head whipped in his direction and she stared at his face upon hearing that veiled confession, noting that he wouldn't turn to look at her. She slipped her hand into his and felt him squeeze gently.

"Thanks, Ikuto," she said quietly.

They dropped the subject, choosing instead to enjoy the other's presence and their surroundings.

At the park, the Guardians were arrayed in a loose circle on the grass. Amu and Ikuto joined them with casual greetings.

There was an awkward silence before Amu decided to get right to it.

"So… you guys have noticed that I'm really not into hanging out with you much anymore… I'm going through some shit in my life and the way I'm living my life just isn't working, basically. I may or may not decide to get all close with you again, but if I do I'm still going to need time to myself every now and then. Also, as you can obviously see now, I stopped liking Tadase a long time ago," She said somewhat quickly, not wanting the attention to be focused on her any longer than necessary.

Nagihiko simply nodded, seeing no need to make a big deal out of the issue. Tadase just gave a small bittersweet smile, and Kairi adjusted his glasses, hiding his eyes. Rima stared at Amu, her eyes carefully blank.

"But Amu-chi -" Yaya was cut off by Kukai's hand over her mouth.

"Follow your heart, Hinamori! You have to take breaks when you're training for soccer, and life is the same! I'll challenge you every now and then though, because you have to keep on your toes!" Kukai said with an enthusiastic thumbs-up and a wide grin.

Everyone else seemed content to let Kukai be their spokesperson. Amu smiled, not sure how she really felt now that her feelings were out in the open and she didn't have to spend all her time with them anymore. _I guess they're alright when they're not trying to decide how to save people's Heart's Eggs and when they're not all lovey-dovey. Although I guess that would be okay now since I have Ikuto… I guess they understand more than I ever gave them credit for, since they haven't attacked me or anything for saying I don't like Tadase anymore. Nagihiko and Tadase didn't seem surprised when I announced that, actually._

An awkward silence filled the air again, no one particularly sure how to proceed.

"Amu-chan, I suppose you can just be our honorary Joker. You can still retain your position but you don't have to come to the meetings if you don't want to," Nagihiko said, ever gentle and understanding.

 _I feel bad for resenting them so much in the first place when they're clearly trying to maintain their relationship with me,_ Amu thought to herself. _I think they really_ did _(and still do) care, but I kept them in the dark and convinced myself that they were clueless and stuck in their own happy little world… The truth is that it was really me who was stuck in my own little world. Hindsight's a real bitch._

"Thanks for understanding, guys," Amu said, her smile more natural.

Amu and Ikuto stood up, feeling a little awkward. There was really nothing else to talk about, so they had no reason to linger, but it was uncomfortable to be leaving while the rest of the Guardians were sitting there.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys around," Amu spoke again, her eyes never settling on any one face.

Ikuto picked her up and wordlessly leapt away, sensing the discomfort of everyone.

"That was so awkward," Amu yelled once they were out of earshot, burying her face into Ikuto's chest.

"You did good though," he replied, heading back to Amu's house. "I'm proud of you… You've definitely grown up in the short time I've been back. The girl you are now is different from the girl I found when I returned."

Amu hugged him tightly when he set her down in front of her doorstep.

"I was thinking that too… I looked back at the person I was and I realized that it was kind of all just in my head. I sort of kept myself in that bad mental space because I convinced myself that I knew the truth, but I really didn't."

She unlocked the door and they both stepped into her house. As soon as she closed the door behind them, she felt Ikuto's arms wrap around her and his body press against her back.

"I'm really proud of you," he repeated, whispering into her hair as he rested his head on top of hers.

"I'm proud of myself," she whispered back. "I feel like I can see clearly now."

"I love you, Amu."

"I love you too, Ikuto."

 

Amu sat in the kitchen as Ikuto and Su cooked dinner, looking at her phone. Quickly making up her mind, she typed out a text message to Rima and sent it.

Hearing her phone go off, Rima picked it up and her doe-like eyes flew back and forth as it read the message.

_"Hey Rima-chan, I'm sorry for being an asshole… I guess I just didn't realize what was happening around me. I wanted to apologize and, if you want to, still be friends. – Amu"_

Rima's dainty fingers gingerly tapped the touchscreen of her cell phone, typing out a reply.

_"I expect the newest gag comic for this month in reparation, but yes, I will welcome you once more into my elite fold. (I missed you, Amu-chan, I'm sorry too.) – Rima"_

Amu smiled at the reply she got. _Typical Rima-chan._ She put her phone down and arched backwards, stretching her arms out above her head, before standing up and heading to the kitchen. She smiled at the sight of Su fluttering about Ikuto's head, supervising his efforts even though Ikuto was a full-grown man who was probably capable of cooking on his own.

Ikuto turned and met her eyes, and they smiled at each other before Su poked his cheek and made him pay attention to the food again.

 _I feel like my life is looking up, like I've thrown off a heavy weight that was dragging me down and preventing me from living,_ Amu thought to herself. _I'm so glad Ikuto is back. I'm happy again, and even though I know that life is a roller coaster, I have hope that this good feeling will always come back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the ending woo!  
> When I started writing this fic, I was going through a lot of really hard stuff. By the time I finished it, things had changed and I was a different person. I like writing things because I can go back and see how I wrote back then or remember what I felt like when I was writing it. It's also kind of a snapshot of my life at the time of writing it; what I was interested in, what I thought was cool, etc.


End file.
